GREEN. GREY. ZAYDE.✔

Chapter 26

Boxing day was a lot less eventful than Christmas.

Everyone had gone home, except for Nana, Zayde, Steve and Uncle Eddie.

And thanks to everyone sucking our food dry, some shopping had to be done.

I wasn't worried about Meadow though, ever since her little moment with Zayde, she's been attached to him. She tries to copy him and follows him everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Zayde came to call me once to get her out because he desperately needed to pee.

And knowing Meadow, she'd stand there and look. And keep looking.

You'd look too.

Shut up.

It's true, you'd look, really hard.

Shut the hell up.

Why'd I have to have such a dirty mind anyway?

Letting out a sigh, I rested my face on my palm, which was propped up by my elbow on the counter as I stirred my cereal.

I could hear Meadow and Zayde's laughter from the other room, and as calming and wonderful as that was, it also made me sad.

I know, I'm overthinking, but this isn't about me anymore. I'm not allowed to have the normal dating life that other girls my age do, I can't have unstable relationships, this isn't just about me anymore. This is about me and Meadow, she can't have a life like that.

Where she gets attached to people, only for them to leave. Breakups will hurt me, and they will be painful, but it will be worse for her, she needs stability and normalcy, something I can't offer her.

Something I'm afraid Zayde can't offer her.

That's what's killing me. What if she goes and gets attached, relating with Zayde like her daddy, and he just leaves, that will be just as bad as her real dad leaving her. It will affect her.

And with me studying Law at the University of Elington, miles away from home, by myself, the last thing I need is instability, for any of us.

Zayde mentioned going there, even before I told him about me wanting to ask well. But that makes no difference.

If you ask me, it's worse.

If he was miles away, I wouldn't have to worry about the pain I'd feel each time I see him, or the hurt and confusion Meadow would feel each time she does.

It will be all too much.

She deserves better, Zayde deserves better too.

What if he meets someone better, more beautiful, smarter, more talented, who wasn't a mother at seventeen, what if he doesn't even want the responsibility of a kid, what if he gets tired of me.

Tired of Us.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realise that Uncle Eddie was with me in the kitchen, until he spoke.

"Deep thinking again?"

Startled, I looked up to see him making some tea, from the two mugs there, I guess that he was making for me as well.

"Yes." I sighed.

"Care to share kiddo?" He said, smiling.

I nodded. "So Zayde....." I trailed off.

"What about him?" He asked. "He's a good kid, respectful, kind, great with kids, and he treats you like a princess, he's the perfect man to take over my job." He said.

I rolled my eyes.

"Surely he can't spoil me as much as you do." I scoffed.

"That's not what he told me last night." He said in a sing song voice as he stirred the tea.