Alucinari

1

Although I knew looking back was not going to be for the best, I still did it. I looked back. There I saw her looking at me, tears down her neck.
“Don’t cry for me,” I said, smiling. “You’re ruining your floral dress...” She looked at me confused looking at her dress, then to look at me, wiping their tears and smiling playfully.
“Ok!” She said, and trotted down the green wood valley towards the house. I followed her towards the house. Beth, her names Beth for you wondering.

I followed her to her room, she got her toys out straight away. “Mother said I shouldn’t be playing with these because I’m 10, I should be practicing on my looks and manner.” She seemed sad but I knew what I would say.
“Mother is right, you need to be getting ready, as soon you’ll find a man that will benefit the family.” I went to her dresser opened the top drawer and pulled out a corset.
“What is that?” She wailed disgusted.
I laughed, “It’s a corset, this poofs up your breasts it also makes you look thinner. More attractive.” This should be talked over with mother. I put it over her floral dress and made my way behind her, “Breathe in.” as she took a breath I tightened the straps, I laughed as she squealed from the sudden tightness, I tied the strings and took a step back. “So?”

“It’s tight.” She twirled while looking at the corset. She looked at me confused.
“You shouldn’t be wearing it at this age but at least you would know what’s going to happen in a few years.” I untied the corset and put it back in the drawer when I notice something. It is a doctor prescribed letter. I ignored it for now and closed the drawer.

“Adeline hasn’t come round in a while after she left with that man.” I looked at her horrified. How did Beth know about Adeline if she was in bed that night? “I went to have a drink and I saw you talking to Adeline saying she can’t leave but a man grabbed her and she said something but I didn’t catch it. What happened?” I looked at her, I could not tell her what happened.
***
“What do you mean you found someone!?” I looked at Adeline.
“Ryde, please he makes me happy! Why can’t you appreciate that?” She was beginning to tear up.
“He isn’t what we want Adeline. What we wanted was a man that can benefit us with wealth not some scrummy lower-class bastard.”
The boy walked in and we locked eyes. His hazel eyes were the only thing I remembered.
He grabbed her arm. “Get your hands off of her.” He pondered but Adeline went to him.
“I hate how you treat me like I’m a child! Adeline do not do this. Adeline your hair looks like a bloody pig. I found someone I love; he doesn’t care what I look like or how I eat or sleep.” She is in tears; this is the first time I have seen her cry.
“He only wants to take you because you satisfy his desire, men are like that “
“What makes you any different Ryde?”

“What?” I knew what she said.
“What makes you different than them men you speak of? You may be 2 years younger than him but not far enough.” She looked proud; she is proud of her sayings like she made a discovery.
Finally, the boy speaks, “Adeline,”
“Yes?” She replies. He whispers in her ear and her eyes light up.
“Listen here if you ever think about “
She looks at me and smiles, she said something I cannot quite remember. Then she closed the door.
I run out looking at them get into a carriage.
The boy looks at me, those same hazel eyes that looked down on me, then looked lustful, he winked.
At that moment all I could do was to go back and wait till breakfast to tell my parents the news, of course without the younger as they would be attended in their rooms and not in the dining hall.
***
“Ryde?” Beth speaks up, I return to my senses and look at her. “Nurse said tea is ready.”
“I’ll be down in a bit, ok?”
“Fine but I can’t guarantee Charlie or Zach will leave you any more bread.” She makes her way down stairs. I somehow in that space made my way to my room. Dark blue curtains tied by a rope with Books at the window sill. My desk covered with sketches and more books.

I made my way down to seat myself at the dining table, I sit next to my two sisters, Beth, and Rune. Rune being my twin sister. My plate was already filled with food and we said our grace and began to eat.