spilled milk
and broken tiaras
it's been a life time
of dropping everything i'm given
watching it all shatter
bad decisions
and lies
i'm not a person
you want to be friends with
i've broken people before
i tell myself i'm a good person
because i'm not afraid to lie
to anyone
myself included
and i'm not afraid to hurt
i hurt
all the time
and tell my friends
i'm fine
it's another lie
i hurt
myself
my family
the people i need
i wonder why can't they see
that their problems
their heartbreaks
are all caused by me
and i know how that sounds
i know it's a selfish way to speak
but i can't help it
all day i think
about how happy they'd all be
without me
i lock up my monsters
and pretend like they need me
because i need to be needed
i'm fucked up
selfish, conceited
i'm breaking down
the way a lie does over time
falling apart
because nothing i have is mine
as soon as they see
as soon as i slip
my world will be backwards
spun around and flipped
and i'll be alone
they way i know i've always been
but these masks are so pretty
i don't want to give up on them
i said before
i'm not afraid
i m not afraid
i'm not afraid
then again
in the back of my mind
i know
i know
that's another lie
