Shadows of Our Souls (Azriel x OC Fanfic)

10 ~ I'm a Monster

~ Pym's POV  ~

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When we finally reach their home, I see Feyre standing there, her shocked face sending pain spiking into my heart. Is Rhys okay? Is he .... where is he?

Azriel lands on the patio and sets me down. Feyre's blue-gray eyes are rimmed with silver as she scans the sky. But then, her eyes land on me.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I can't stay here anymore."

"What?" Azriel asks.

"Why?" Feyre asks.

I tell them about everything Astrid said. And when I finish, I say, "I think Rhysand is trapped in the Void Court.  It's.... where Astrid said I belong. I'm sorry. I think I am the only one who can save him, and I will.  I'll send him up there, to you, once I have found him. But .... you need to help me. I need to set this poor girl free."

Azriel looks at Feyre, and they both shake their heads after a moment.  Feyre steps forward, but as she does, I step back. I see the pain in her eyes.  She's conflicted. But I don't know why. I do not belong here with them. I turn to Azriel.

His face .... his beautiful, somewhat scarred face ....

.... he is crying silently.

"I need to go," I whisper.

"How?" Feyre whispers.

I nod to one of the daggers at Azriel's side. "He needs to stab me. I will.... I think I will seep from the wound and return to the Void Court. And then, I will find Rhys and set him free. I do not know what to do after that, but I'll likely become their prisoner. I'm sorry, but I'm a parasite. Grab a healer. This girl can't die, please..... just set her free. I think it has to be a substantial wound. It will be a while, if I ever see you again.  But if I do .... "

"We will see you again," Feyre says. "I won't accept another idea."

"Wait," rasps Azriel. "We make a deal."

I look at him. "What? I can't.... I don't have a body."

"Any deal will be inked on your soul too," Feyre says. "Your very spirit will have it. You will be bound to this deal, so if you uphold your end, he will be forced to uphold his, and the other way around. Trust me, you'll know."

I look at Azriel. "Are you sure?"

"How can you even ask me that?" He whispers. "Yes, I am very certain. Please, Pym. Do this for me."

I nod. "Fine. I will help you get Rhys back, and I will do anything in my power to find out what the Void Court is, as well as returning him safely." I feel a burn on my upper arm, my right arm. I lock eyes with Azriel. His gaze meets mine.

"And I will bring you back as soon as I can once Rhys is back. I will find a way to save you, I swear this." He clears his throat, silver lining his dark eyes. His shadows acting erratically. "And I swear I will help this poor female, after your soul is now in the Underworld, where your soul came from. I promise to find a way."

We pull up the sleeves of our outfits, and I see what it is ... a beautiful black and silver bird, swirling tail feathers, wings spread out.

"A phoenix," whispers Feyre.

"A dark one," says Azriel, looking at his matching tattoo. Below it, are swirls of what look like shadows, on either side of the crescent moon in the center of the swirly shadows. I look at Azriel.

"Time to stab me, but not fatally. You don't want to kill this poor girl."

He nods, his eyes full of unshed tears. Then, he thrusts one of his blades into my lower abdomen. And then .... I feel myself slipping away, flickering between worlds. Then, everything goes black again.