Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

The Birthday Party (21.3)

Make sure you read 21.2 first x

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09:03 is what your clock reads when you open your eyes the following morning. Daylight streaming in through your curtains which makes you a little less sleepy.

Turning away from the window, you're faced with the fact that yesterday was real again when you see your best friend sleeping beside you. Instantly your heart turns heavy again because of everything that's happened and everything that's been said.

But you can't let it all whirl around your mind any longer. You get yourself up, and quickly grab your clothes before heading to the bathroom quietly. The last thing you want to do is wake him up, as you want some time to yourself before more things are said.

After changing in the bathroom, putting your Blur hoodie on for comfort along with your jeans, you just as quietly sneak out of your bathroom to head towards your kitchen intending to make yourself a much needed cup of tea.

But when you walk out into the lounge, you see Matty asleep on your settee. Your heart warms at the fact that he stayed, and you're overwhelmed by a lot of emotions again. Not enough to make you cry like you did yesterday but enough to get you in your head again.

Quietly, you sit yourself down on the floor beside him and rest your head against the arm of your settee like he was doing. Unable to stop yourself, you stroke his curls to the side of his face like you used to do all the time and you study his features as he sleeps.

You'd not seen him this close since you broke up.

Back in the day if you woke up before him, you'd always look at him and relish in the peace that sleep brought him. You know all too well that he doesn't have a good relationship with sleep and that most nights it's a struggle for him.

That would be why when you were together and you were here whilst he was in Manchester, you always made an effort to call him when it was time to sleep. Most of the time you fell asleep on the phone to him and sometimes you would even wake up the following day to him being in bed next to you.

He looks so peaceful now. And these days you know how unusual that is for him. Emotions ran high yesterday and whilst both he and Alex did hurt you, you still care about them.

More than you should care about two people at the same time.

Looking at him, you feel the same love in your heart that you felt when you woke up and saw Alex beside you. It pains you how both of them have wormed their way so deeply into your heart, but you know you have to let the two of them go.

You need to heal. Try and start again and then maybe you could be with someone wholeheartedly again.

Try being the key word.

You think about 10 minutes pass with you being stuck in your head whilst you play with Matty's hair and stroke the side of his face until he moves. You've obviously disturbed him from his slumber, perhaps selfishly or perhaps accidentally.

Either way, when his tired brown eyes open and he's met with you, a little smile forms on his plump lips. You're already smiling at him and your heart swells because he lets you carry on stroking his hair and cheek.

He just closes his eyes and releases a deep breath as he lets you continue. You're happy keeping the peace a while longer by doing so.

You know you need to chat to him like you chatted to Alex, but the peace at this moment in time is amazing. Like you'd both gone back in time to 2011, but now his hair is curly once more and he's not got a skinhead undercut.