Tell me that I'm all you want | Bucky Barnes fan fiction

2. You have a hollowed out heart

Here is the second chapter 2 🙌

It was dark when you noticed your father's car drive off of the compound. Thinking it was safe to leave the room, you crept out of your space. Walking into the kitchen, you were unfortunately greeted by your father sitting at the island, a glass of whiskey nursed in his hand.

"I figured you'd wait until you saw my car leave," he tilted his glass towards you before downing his drink. "Hate to say I was right."

"Yeah well, ever think I didn't want to see you," you scoffed, walking past him to the bar. If he was to do this now, you sure as hell weren't going to be sober for it.

"After all I've done for you Y/n Stark," he grumbled. You could almost see him pinching the bridge of his nose as he contemplated his words.

Knowing exactly where this was going to go, you quickly took a shot of vodka straight from the bottle—realizing that you didn't have the mental strength to deal with this conversation. "Can we not do this now? I have an early morning down at the university."

"What do you mean? It's Sunday?" You stared at him, your heart shattering all over again as realization dawned on you that he didn't know. He knew something was wrong the second he saw your eyes glass over; he had screwed up again. Like always when it comes to you.

"It's my convocation." It was a gentle reminder but one that further divided you and Tony. "I sent the invites out weeks ago, Happy said you got it. I just figured you were busy." You caved in on yourself, feeling your stomach drop as that feeling of being forgotten settled in again. "It's okay." Your voice cracked.

"Baby-"

"I'm going to head to bed," you squeaked out, backing away from the bottle of vodka. Instead of heading for your room, you went to the elevator on the other side of the kitchen.

"That's not where your room is." You could see the furrowed eyebrows as he questioned your movements. You didn't answer. Instead, you asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to take you to Mr. Barnes' room and hide your location from Tony. The second you stepped onto the floor that Steve and Bucky shared, footsteps could be heard walking towards you.

"Do you have any idea what time it is baby Stark?" Bucky had a fake sour look on his face, but that completely dropped once he took in your appearances. "Baby doll," he whispered as he crossed the distance to take you into his embrace.
"He forgot," you whispered, the feeling of your heart aching in your chest as you welcomed the numbness starting in your toes. Bucky ushered you into his bedroom, eager to keep Steve out of it. As much of a brother Steve had been to you, he was still one of Tony's closest friends. Being on your side and Tony's friend made it complicated.

Bucky managed to get you just inside the door when you pulled away from him—walking towards the window that overlooked the parking lot at a different angle. "I can't say I'm surprised," you scoffed bitterly.

"Talk to me," you looked over at Bucky, not wanting to burden him. The way he was looking at you at that moment, in complete vulnerability, allowed you to start venting. "He took me in out of pity," you spat, gripping into the solid bed frame that you designed to help save costs. "He spent so much god damn time partying, that in the 2rd grade for bringing your parents to school, I brought Happy."

The tears started, and you didn't bother to try and stop them. You were brushing them away just enough so that you didn't get a reaction from them as quickly. "Then Miss Potts," I whispered, almost gagging from disgust. "She was amazing to me, at least for the longest time she was. She made the effort to get to know me, even forcing Tony to spend some time with me. Then suddenly, out of nowhere that changed." Your breathing got shaky, a sob trying to work its way up to your throat.

"He proposed, promised her a family and it was like I didn't matter any more. I came home to a nanny and empty houses, my only interaction with him through fucking Happy." You were angry, and for the first time, it was all coming off your chest. Bucky knew bits and pieces, but he was always a little too scared to press you for more information. In a way, he felt as though he understood you even more. "Then that god damn egotistical man assigned Happy to the fucking kid."

"Peter?" Bucky questioned, knowing from Steve that Happy followed Peter now. Babysitting him almost as he worked through high school.

"Yeah, that guy. By then I was 17 and living on the University campus so it didn't matter." That was the final crack. "He didn't go to any of my sports meets. It was always Pepper or Happy; but the kicker?" Your eyes suddenly locked onto his blue ones, sadness leaking into his own, causing them to water. "I had no one in the audience for me at my high school graduation but Nat and Steve."

Without another word, you wholly shattered. Your knees buckled, and Bucky caught you, pulling you tight to his chest. Your body shook against his as he kept telling you "you were okay," "that it's okay to let it all out."

When you finally calmed down, you stayed clutched to his chest. Holding on for dear life as you struggled against your mind. The silence was welcomed, but it made your mind race. Every interaction you've ever had with Tony, all you ever received was a shrug. Nothing you seemed to do warranted any type of reaction from the man.

Finally, your voice broke through the silence."Y'know, when Tony and Steve were at odds. I was always on Steve's side," you whispered, your hand drawing non-distinct shapes on his chest as you cuddled into his side like many other times before tonight. "I had no one else."

"I can promise never to leave," it was a surprise. Looking up at his beautiful face, only to find he was already looking at you.

"Even if you were offered to go back before the war?" You hesitantly questioned, needing some sort of anchor to this compound after tomorrow.

"I wouldn't, I think I would miss you too much," it was enough, just hearing that you were wanted..: no scratch that, needed by someone. Especially it being Bucky seemed to warm you just a little. "And tomorrow I will be there. Watching you cross that stage." Nodding, you allowed the darkness to creep in. You were closing your eyes to the sound of his voice. 

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