Chapter Thirty Nine

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I'm sorry my lovlies! I hope this update makes up for lost time. Thank you to all my new and reoccurring readers. It means the world to me! Hope you enjoy this new chapter!  Life has been busy but I am not back and promise to update on a more regular basis. xx

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There I sat. A bottle of champagne later and two rum and cokes down. It was getting late, and no one was back yet. They must be out for dinner. I heated up some leftover noodles and sat down on the couch. I stared at the blank TV, hoping it would magically turn on and give me answers, but as suspected, it remained black. Black like the black hole I wish would suck me in right now.

At this moment, I felt nothing. Not even the bubbles from the champagne give me a tingling sensation. I turned on the TV and scanned through Netflix, looking for something, anything. I came across some random thriller I hadn't seen before and pressed play. About halfway through, I felt my phone vibrate. I quickly picked it up with a glimmer of hope it would be Cale, and for a split second, I felt excitement. I looked at the ID; Michie's name read across the screen. My face dropped as I debated answering it, once again feeling nothing. After the fifth ring, I pressed the green talk button.

"Hi Michie," I said in a melancholy tone

"I heard about Cale...I...I've been wanting to reach out, I know you're not the best of friends but you had history." Michie stuttered as he tried to find the right words to say "...I just wanted to see how you are."

I stared up at the ceiling and bit my lower lip. Why couldn't I fall for the nice guy?

"I'm ok, thanks." I knew it sounded awkward, but what else was I going to say.

"Have you heard anything?" Michie asked after a long pause.

I shook my head and then laughed at myself when I realized Michie couldn't actually see me.

"No, just that he will be fine." I paused, wondering if I should say the next part. "The police don't think it was an accident."

"Are you serious!?...but...who would..." Michie sounded genuinely shocked by what I just.

"I don't know. Right now the police are investigating, I don't know much more." Michie was kind. I knew he was being sincere. Unlike Emily, who sent out a massive Instagram post, hysterically crying. It made me want to gauge my eyes out, but after a long internal debate with myself, I decided against it.

"Can you come over?" I blurted out before my brain could catch up with my mouth. I had a feeling no one would be back for a while, and I was desperate for some sort of emotion.

"uhh, I don't know if I should." He hesitated.

"Please," I said quietly and desperate, practically begging like a child. But I didn't care.

"Ok, I'll see you soon." He finally gave in and hung up.

I hopped his response would make me feel some emotion, but it didn't. I put my phone on the side table and stared back at the TV. The smell of my last two rum and coke's evident. I wrinkled my nose, got up and walked into Cales room. I found a sweater of Cale's on the floor and picked it. I immediately received a subtle hint of his cologne. A flood of memories went through my mind, and I felt a single tear escape my eye. I realized at that moment that if I lost Cale forever, I would shatter. I was broken and never fully recovered from my sisters death. But this would be too much. I felt my heart tighten, and I pushed the thought from my mind as I took off my jacket and put on Cale's hoodie, letting the smell consume me and forgetting about the lingering rum and coke.

I went back to the living room, realizing how dark it was. The only light was coming from the TV. I turned on the side table lamp and let my eyes adjust. I unlocked the door for Michie and sat back down on the couch, my stomach sloshing from all the alcohol. After a few more minutes, the front dorm door opened, and Michie walked through. I looked up at him, and he smiled down at me. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to get the sides of my mouth to curl up; they remained neutral.

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