Love On Set - Florence Pugh

four

I walk for a few minutes, wandering far enough to be not seen too easily. Just to be sure, I hide behind some building and sit on the ground with my legs crossed. I pull out a cigarette pack and my phone, laying the latter on my lap while I open the pack. I take one cigarette and a lighter from the box and put the stick between my lips. I bring the lighter to my mouth and lit the cigarette, taking a deep inhale. The smoke fills my lungs quickly, making the anxiety go away and relaxing me swiftly.

I'm not addicted, I don't even smoke too much, I just smoke when I feel anxious or very stressed. Like I'm feeling now, thanks mom.

I started this nasty habit almost two years ago, a few months into a junior year. I was filming a movie and trying to keep up with a school. It was a really hard time for me then and my boyfriend gave me one to try it. Well, I did and I liked the feeling the smoking was giving me. The way it relaxed me almost immediately, I loved it with my whole heart.

That's why I keep doing this every so often. Of course in secret, only my best friend know about it. Speaking of my best friend, I grab the phone with my free hand and call her. I wait for a few second before she accepts the call and I hear her voice.

Mia: Hola!

Me: Mia, hey!

I greet her with happy voice, a smile sneaks on my face as soon as I hear her voice. I didn't talk or even text with her for almost a week as I was getting used to the new country and I feel awful about this.

Mia: Wow, you're alive, Bella. I thought you died in a plane crash or something

She says sarcastically and I chuckle at her dark humor. But this time it's fair, I deserve it.

Me: I'm sorry bestie, London is such a weird place, y'know? I'm still getting used to living in a different time zone. I'll do better, I promise. But I have something exciting to tell you, wanna hear it?!

Mia: Do I want to? Of course, I do, puta! (bitch)

Me: I met Florence Pugh like thirty minutes ago! She's so fucking cool, Mia, I swear to god!

I exclaim eagerly, forgetting about the cigarette in my hand for a second. Talking with her usually gives me the same feeling as smoking.

Mia: Oh my god! I'm so jealous right now, you're living a dream! I was always so jealous of you meeting so many celebrities, but her? It's crazy!

She almost yells and I laugh at her fangirling. She's true, I've met a lot of celebrities, sometimes it was thanks to my mom, but sometimes it was because I was filming with them.

She didn't meet practically any of them, though. Her dad is very strict about leaving a New York, especially when she was in school. The only people she has met are from MCU. But it's only because they're like a family to me. With a few exceptions, of course. Is it ironic to say that I'm not a fan of Jeremy? Probably yes, but I really don't like that man.

Mia: Don't laugh at me, puta! I know deep down you were dying then, you can't lie to me chaparrita! (shorty)

Me: Okay, maybe I was a little dying inside, but nobody can't blame me, she's perfect and I loved her in her last movie just like you did, Pérez!

I defend myself and she giggles in respond, making me roll my eyes. I put the stick inside my mouth again and take a deep drag, exhaling the smoke from my lungs after a few seconds.

Mia: You're smoking again, aren't you?

She asks suddenly and I bite my tongue, feeling like a kid caught stealing the candy. I start to swirl the cigarette between my fingers nervously. Did I ever mention that even if Mia knows about it, she's not a fan? She hated my boyfriend for so long when I began to smoke because of him.

Me: Maybe

I reply in small voice and she sighs from the other side. It makes me feel terrible, so I stub the cigarette, crashing it on the ground.

Mia: What happened, Bella?

She questions worriedly, but comfortingly, letting me know that she's not mad. She does that a lot and I'm really grateful for her.

Me: Just my mom, don't worry about it. I didn't smoke for a long time, it's my first one since I came to London, okay?

I assure her truthfully and she hums in understanding.

Me: Look, I need to go before she starts looking for me. I'll call you before sleep, alright?

Mia: Alright, I love you

She responds easily, but I still hear the worry in her voice.

Me: Love you too, Mia

I end the call quickly after saying my goodbyes and sigh tiredly. I don't wanna talk about it right now, because I would need another cigarette. It's not my fault that talking about my mom's wrongs makes me feel bad. I don't enjoy talking shitty about her, but today she's not like herself.

On the other hand, I feel conflicted right now because I need her comfort. I hate when one of us is angry at the other. I'm really attached to her, after all, most of the time it was only me and her against the world. She raised me alone when she was so damn young when she could just give me up and live her life fully.

She didn't and she did her best in raising me. That's why I hate it when we're arguing over anything. I usually feel like I'm mad at her for silly reasons and it makes me a bad daughter. I can't help it when all she's done in her life to be the best for me.

I decide that I'm done pitting myself for the moment and stand up from the ground. I wipe my pants from the dirt and pull a few mint gums, throwing them to my mouth to dispose the smell of smoke. Then I walk back to the set and go into mom's trailer.

"Finally, you're back. Where were you?" It's first what I hear when I enter the trailer and I roll my eyes at her tone. Here I was feeling bad about being petty to her, but she's seriously mad at me for walking away. The fuck?

"Mhm" I mumble quietly, not sparing her a glance as I walk past her and walking to her bedroom. If she wants to be angry with me, I can be angry too. Both of us can play in this game, Johansson.

"Can you quit with the attitude?" She asks annoyed, following me closely behind.

"I don't have an attitude" I scoff, shrugging before I throw myself on the little bed she has. "Just forget it, mom. I don't want to argue, okay? I'm tired, can I take a nap?" I decide to ignore her and just go to sleep.

"Fine" She agrees after she watches me intensely for a moment. Probably trying to see my true intentions. "I need to go on set anyway, we have some reading before we can go home for today"

"Just wake me up when we can leave, okay?" I ask, covering myself with a cozy blanket and getting comfortable underneath.

"Okay" She breathes out as she nods in agreement. "Sleep well, honey. We'll talk later about this" Her tone a lot softer. She bends over to kiss my forehead and I close my eyes under the touch. I love how affectionate she is with me, no matter what. She's my mom.

"Alright, good luck, mama" I murmur to her, giving her a small smile even if I feel angry with her. She smiles back softly and leaves the trailer. I fall asleep after that quickly.

I turned a chapter with 800 words into a chapter with 2k words randomly lmao

Edited: September 3, 2022