The Lies He Spoke

TWENTY FIVE

You can do it, it'll take thirty seconds and you won't do anything bad-

Olivia's knocking on the door came again, the sound clattering in Logan's skull until he could strangle someone.

"Lo-gan," she whined, "what on earth are you-"

Logan yanked the bathroom door open, his face all fire and fury. "How many times do I have to tell you to just wake the fuck up earlier so you're not dying to get into the bathroom last minute?" he demanded.

Olivia crossed her arms over her chest, unfazed. "You're not even doing anything! I didn't even hear the toilet flush! Did you not flush? I told you to use the Febreze!"

"Why the hell are you keeping track of whether I'm flushing the toilet? And I was not using it, I was shaving!" Logan lied, then realized how stupid his lie was because he had not done that at all.

Olivia frowned confusedly at his unshaven face. She poked at his cheek where his stubble was growing farther away from a stubble and closer towards a beard. "Are you growing it out?" she asked.

Logan pushed her hand away. "I don't need you on my case too," he muttered.

"What? Did someone tell you it looks bad?"

"Just forget it, Olivia."

"Well, I don't think it looks bad. You look perfectly fine." And just for good measure, she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his stubbly cheek.

For a moment, there was a warm, twisting feeling behind his ribs. For a moment, his facial muscles almost warped into a smile.

The undeniable truth was that Logan wanted a good relationship with his sister, and he wanted that silly warmth he got when she looked at him like he wasn't a complete fuck up of a brother.

He knew it was selfish but he wanted that moment of ease when he felt like a proper human being that someone could rely on, that was worthy of being someone's brother.

He wanted that.

Then he panicked.

Because he could only ever screw up relationships. He couldn't keep wishing for these moments because he couldn't care for her like someone who could properly love was supposed to. No matter how hard he tried, he would mess it up and even though Elijah and Blake tolerated him, Olivia had only known him for a year.

She would see that side of him that no one should ever have to see and he would end up being too much and then hurting her and ruining it between them.

So he turned his chin to wipe his cheek against his shoulder and glared at her. "Don't do that, dammit," he grumbled.

Olivia's eyebrows flew up her forehead. "That was so mean! I gave you a kiss in all sincerity and good wishes!"

"What the hell are you saying?"

She pressed her lips together to constrain her smile. "Flower and unicorns and kisses?"

He rolled his eyes. "You are disgusting."

"The feeling's mutual."

For a moment, with her face turned down into a frown, anxiety and instant remorse terrified him. Had he wrecked it? He never gave a second thought to shoving Blake away but what if Olivia didn't understand?

Then his little sister gave him an amused little grin and the bubbling, uncomfortable pressure under his skin eased and it was suddenly a perfectly wonderful day to be alive.

"I love you," she said.

He froze-

What the fuck.