Feelings.

"him"

this is for him.

the boy who makes me happy to be alive,

he is the sweetest in my eyes even though he's done so bad in the past,

I am willing to stick by him.

we met as an accident, I had locked eyes on him and I was positive that I could be friends with him,

but I never thought that i'd end up falling.

there was a time I started thinking that maybe it wasn't meant to be,

(ofcourse I admit I do overthink a lot)

so I let him know, that I was sorry.

I was sorry for being a burden on him.

what if he was just pretending, what if he doesn't like me.

well... that all ended when he told me in response that,

he appreciates me, and that he loves me for being with him, talking to him and comforting him even though he can be busy with work and life... he said he appreciates me.

I had never been told or reassured by someone that they truly love me.

all my doubts and insecurities had rushed away, I was so happy with a big smile plastered on my face.

for sure we did call each other a lot, his voice was the very sound of comfort for me, and I hope I can be that very happiness for him.

there are times though where bad thoughts come in to haunt me, as I had been heartbroken for far too much to believe that love was real, but he made me feel again...

is this just fake?

will it not last...

my heart aches at the thought of losing someone so special.

I pray everyday.

I pray and I pray and I pray,

I pray that God protects this relationship and protects him,

I pray for his health and happiness,

I pray that even when things go down, that I will always be there for him.

I pray that one day I get to meet his mother, his father and his siblings.

I pray that the day comes that I can be comfortable with his family as if it is my own.

I pray that with whatever ups and downs we occur, I pray that God keep us safe, and together.

and under God's grace, I pray that one day, I could look at him, in my wedding gown, and smile, knowing that I can be there to protect, love and care for him, and our beautiful family.

I know it seems as though I love this boy to death.

even I couldn't believe how much I had fallen in love, when I cried that night, alone in my bed, not with tears of sadness but tears of joy and happiness.

but mother, i believe i found the boy that makes me feel alive again.