"Hey, it's okay." I whisper, shivering in the rain.
I pull him in my arms, and he doesn't struggle. His arms close tightly around my waist as he cries, his head on my chest.
"It's okay." I whisper again, soothing his back with one hand.
He looks...
(I was listening to Apocalypse by Cigarette after sex🤷♀️)
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ꕥ✨ꕥ
We both sit on the soaked grass, the rain still pouring. The tears are still streaming down my face. But I'm no longer sobbing.
J-Hope is still crying next to me, his head on my shoulder. The sobs shake his body irregularly, and his hand holds mine tightly,
He hasn't said anything.
He's just trying to deal with the pain I just threw on him.
I stare in front of me at the lake, relieved. We're both in pain. We're both scared. But we're on the same page...This landscape I've watched for long hours, this lake, the birds, the rain. It all has a different shade now.
I'm not angry anymore. I enjoyed the peace so far. Now I can feel it filling up my mind and body. Of course I'm still terrified. But I'm not alone anymore.
J-Hope sniffles and roughly wipes away the tears.
He straightens up and stands up, holding out his hand for me to take. My eyes meet his for long seconds, looking up. Neither of us is talking.
I hold his hand and stand, facing him, my hands in his.
"Hyun-Aeah." His voice is raw and his tone heavy with pain.
"Yes?" I whisper, trying my best to compose my strength in front of his broken appearance.
"First of all, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't notice how much pain you were going through."
"No, it's my fault I didn't tell-"
"We've been together for six years. And I refused to see that you were in pain. And I am so sorry for doubting your feelings for me. I've been so hard on you, I am so sorry for hurting you. I've been giving you such a hard time while you've been dealing with this, I-argh..."
His head falls as the pain tenses him up and as he breaks down.
"Hey..." I breath, freeing my hands from his to cup his face, forcing him to look at me. "Look at me."
His eyes meet mine, they're filled with so much sorrow but so much love to.
"You're only 26. I...you have no idea what I was thinking about last night when we were in the lake."
"Then tell me." I encourage him to speak to me, remaining close to assure him of my presence.
"I was thinking about this whole break thing. And I thought to myself that after taking time to think about everything, I'd be ready to take the next step. I thought that if we took time off, then talked everything out, we'd be back on the same page. I thought we'd then be ready to take the last step."
