𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘀𝗺𝗼𝗸𝗲 ♡ yuwin

« three »

Most would wonder if Sicheng's home could be considered an actual home. Yes, it was a decent house to live in, with everything functioning and basic needs fulfilled. However, it wasn't homely, and it didn't have the warm comfort a home should bring to a person. Sicheng didn't know what it meant to have a cosy home; he didn't visit others, and no one visited him.

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Sicheng was aware that smoking was bad. It was dangerous for his health, and that he should quit. At this rate, it felt impossible. Apart from not having anything to do, the bitter, chemical taste satisfied him and made him feel a bit better afterwards. They were his little saviour from the ongoing news of the world.

Every day he heard stories of people dying from their addictions or committing suicide because of personal problems. And every time he read stories like this, Sicheng took a drag of his cigarette and left the windows open to let the freezing air enter his home.

As much as he pitied the people's sad life stories, he couldn't help but pity himself the most. He had no family, no friends, nobody to lean on. All his life he supported himself and relied on no one, even when he fell into a financial struggle. He dealt with it alone and thought he would be fine. In reality, it wasn't.

"Might as well join these people and die. Life doesn't have much to offer either way," Sicheng told himself as he chuckled a little.

He placed down the newspaper that was in his hands and lifted his glasses so they sat atop his head. With his left hand, he lit the candles on the coffee table and started shuffling them around to create different shapes. He inspected each one, which was melting quickly and becoming shorter.

"Life is this short, so why continue living it?" Sicheng asked himself.

It would seem as if he wasn't speaking to anyone, but then he turned to his right to face the armchair.

"What do you think, Yuta?"

Although others wouldn't be able to see, Sicheng could see his boyfriend sitting on the armchair in a tank top and jeans, displaying his muscles and tattoos. His red hair was tied up into a ponytail, revealing his piercings and the gold chain around his neck. The Japanese male frowned at Sicheng.

"you haven't seen the beauty of this world because you still hold onto the memories that bring you pain. let them go, and you'll see happiness."

"Yuta, how could I ever let go of you?" responded Sicheng softly as he continued smoking his cigarette.

"let go of your cigarettes, they're bad for you. you know I don't like it when people smoke."

"You're the last person who should be speaking, Yuta. You would smoke all the time, now look what happened to you."

Before Yuta could say anything, Sicheng let out a puff of smoke into the elder's face, causing him and the voice speaking to him to disappear.

He let out a bitter chuckle.

"I always told you to stop smoking, but you never listened. Why couldn't you open up to me about your struggles instead of deal with them using cigarettes?"