euphoric

two

downtown brooklyn
kasani amiri santana

"i'm really cold as fuck at this shit," kasani mumbled going through videos to post on his business page while sitting in a chair at the island in his mother's kitchen.

he was here more than he was home. he loved being around his mother and sister, they distracted him from his intrusive thoughts.

kasani is the owner of a shop consisting of two sides. one side with barbers and the other side with tattoo artists who are also piercers. kasani was both a barber and a tattoo artist.

kasani stands at 6'2 with a slightly slim build. he works out which gives him the muscle and bit of fat that he does have on his body. he definitely wasn't skinny but the weight he had on him was slowly going away due to his eating disorder.

two years ago, kasani watched one of his best friends, pryce, die right in front of him. kasani and his two best friends, pryce and bryson, were heavy in the streets. the day that pryce's lifeless body fell on kasani, his whole world changed. pryce was in a coma for about two months before they pulled the plug. his mother didn't want him to suffer any longer. plus, he would never be the same if he did wake up.

pryce's death was the cause of kasani's eating disorder, along with his diagnosis of depression. often times, kasani would contemplate sucicide. he had one suicide attempt which changed everyone's live forever.

they payed more attention to him, never letting him stay alone when he's sad. kasani would always keep on a mask, never showing his real feelings. as a retired street pharmacist, he didn't want people to think he was soft.

kasani is soft, and it's not a bad thing but he doesn't know that. yet. he will eventually learn that it is okay to show your feelings. appearance wise, kasani looks like your typical hood dude. mean and nonchalant. that's the mask he puts on. deep down, kasani just wants someone besides his family to actually love him.

kasani and bryson decided that, after the close death, they had to leave the street life. now, kasani has his shop and bryson owns a clothing store.

"sani baby can you go to the grocery store? and bring me back some aspirin, these migraines ain't no joke." he heard his mother, kimora, say as she walked down the stairs.

he didn't want to be in the house today so he came to see his mother and his younger sister, amara. amara's name didn't start with a k because their mother loved her name so much and didn't want to come up with another. it was similar to kasani's middle name.

"i gotchu ma, MARA COME RIDE WIMMIE!" he yelled up the stairs to amara. not long after, she came running down the stairs.

kasani and amara hopped in his black trackhawk with red accents. the interior was black with red accents as well. kasani recently traded his car in for a newer model. he was sitting on money and had nothing else to spend it on. he saved up so much money from when he was in the streets that he never had to work again. he decided to open his shop because it was his passion.

"can you buy me one of these? i'd prefer white with pink accents but i'm not picky." amara smiled at her brother and as much as he wanted to continue to mug her, he couldn't. he loved his little sister with his whole heart.

"you sure you want this? i thought you wanted a benz?" he questioned as they rode to the grocery store.

"you really be listening to me? i just be joking." she laughed.

"i'm always listening mara, you know this." he shook his head as they got out of the car to go into the grocery store.

they went there separate ways to shop. kasani was also getting a few little things for his house. juice, water, and fruit. he couldn't keep anything down except those things and his protein shakes, due to his eating disorder. it took him a while to even be able to keep those down.

he looked behind him to see a woman struggling to grab something from the top shelf.

"lemme get it for you," he spoke before grabbing what she was reaching for.

"thank you" she was this close to calling an employee over to help her.

"it's no problem," he responded going back to his cart.

"i don't mean to sound weird, but you're very handsome. are you single?" she asked nervously.

"thank you and you're beautiful but i mean this in the most respectful way, i'm not interested." he gave her a small smile before walking away to find amara.

kasani was not a relationship person. his last relationship ended awfully and he didn't want to go through that again. he was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for but his previous girlfriend gave him trust issues. kasani wasn't big on having sex, it wasn't that serious to him, and she knew this. she would always pressure him into having sex with her and in his opinion, it wasn't that great. he felt that as a man, no one should be able to pressure you into having sex.

it didn't go on for long though, he broke things off with her and they haven't been in touch in over a year. he doesn't miss her at all and never will. he hopes to never see or hear about her again.

"you done?" he asked his sister who had a full basket. he didn't care as long as they had a good mix of real food and snacks. for someone who eats real food once a month, he surely did have a lot to say about what someone eats.

they got everything bagged up and paid for and made their way back to the car. after loading the car, the siblings got in and made their way back to their mother's home. which was their home as well, even though kasani didn't stay there.

arriving to their home, the pair got out and brought the groceries from kasani's truck to the kitchen. after bringing them in, they loaded the fridge and pantry. kasani left his few items in his truck so he wouldn't leave them when he left to go home.

their mother came down and began to cook tacos for her and her two children.

"kasani please eat something baby, just a little bit. if you feel sick then you don't have to finish it." his mother pleaded.

he hated seeing his mother worry about his health. another reason why he left the streets.

kasani could only keep down one taco but he drunk a few glasses of water to keep him from being sick. "this is a good start, i'm proud of you big brother" amara smiled to him as she hugged him.

the two women in front of him were what kept him going. he would probably be in the hospital again or dead if he didn't have them.

"thanks for the food ma. i love y'all, i'm bout to dip. amara i didn't forget about you so don't blow my phone up tonight reminding me." he left the house after they responded him.

kasani made his way home. sometimes he wished he had a woman on his side but he knew his trust issues would never allow him to take someone serious. maybe one day he'll be able to get over them.

walking into his home, kasani kicked his shoes off and hung his coat up, making his way to his room. he went to his restroom and took a long, hot shower.

he got out and moisturized his face before rubbing lotion on his body. putting on a pair of boxers, kasani went to his bed and was out like a light.

..TO BE CONTINUED..