I don't want to feel better

Fucking hell man

Tommy's POV:

I wake up and slowly open my eyes. I rub my eyes and see I was back in my room with tubbo and Ranboo sleeping on separate mattresses beside mine.

I get out of bed slowly and walk down the stairs hoping no one was awake yet. I step onto the last step and take a quick glance around the room before quickly walking into the kitchen hand grabbing a small knife from the block on the counter.

I stuff the knife into my hoodie pocket and walk into the bathroom locking the door behind me.

I sit on the floor and take the knife out of my pocket. I don't even know why I'm doing this, I just hate how clean my wrist looks despite the many scars that are all over it. Once the red lines go away I feel so upset and I jsut can't handle it.

I roll up my sleeve and look at the almost scars but past the stage of being a fresh cut. I let out a breathy sigh and slowly push the knife into my wrist and slide it across feeling the blood drip down my arm.

I let out a shaky breath as I continued down my wrist. After I ran out of room down my wrist I went back over the cuts making them deeper. I felt the tears running down my face as I smiled slightly at the red coating my arm.

I set the knife on the floor and stood up grabbing the counter so I didn't fall and turned on the faucet. I ran my arm under the water flinching at the cold at first but letting the water run till most of the blood was gone.

I wrapped my arm up, rolled my sleeve down and walked out of the bathroom. I made my way slowly into the living room and seeing Eret and Niki awake playing wii on the tv. I walk past them giving them a short "good morning" before going back to my room to see both Ranboo and tubbo awake.

I grab my phone from my night stand and sadly hit the reset button before Turing the screen off and putting it in my pocket.

-time skip to when people were awake-

I laid in my bed listening to music waiting for people to wake up. I couldn't just go and mess around with tubbo and Ranboo with the risk of waking people up.

Anyways both tubbo and Ranboo had left the room to go downstairs so I was alone in the room. I started to close my eyes when I heard someone yell from downstairs. I sit up and quickly walk down the stairs not wanting to miss something that was going on.

"What happened?" I ask as I get to the bottom of the stairs. It was tubbo, tubbo had screamed. Tubbo came out of the same bathroom I was in this morning holding a bloody knife.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

Everyone started to make their way into the living room because of the disturbance to see what was happening. I tried to stay to the back of the crowd. I got a glance from Karl before he made his way over to me.

"Tommy?" Karl said as if he knew what happened. "Yeah? Um what's up Karl?" I say. Maybe if I play dumb he will leave me alone.

"Don't play dumb you know exactly 'what's up'" Karl said. "Tommy how bad did you do it?" Karl asked and grabbed my arm.

"Not that bad it dosnt matter" I say quickly. "I don't believe you Tommy, show me then I'll believe you" Karl said trying to be intimidating.

I sigh "not here let's go to your room or something.." I say and start walking up the stairs to his room. Karl gave me a smile as we went to his room.

I closed and locked the door behind us. Karl sat on the bed and I sat next to him. "Well?" Karl asked. I didn't expect this to be this hard. My brain didn't let my arm move, I wanted him to know but at the same time I didn't.

I looked down and held my arm out " just fucking do it man" I say not noticing the tears dripping down my face.

Karl slowly lifted my sleeve trying to touch my arm not to much. He undid the bandaging I did earlier and looked at my arm. I let out a quite sob, I couldn't bare to look him in the face.

Karl POV:

I look at Tommy's arm and let out an audible gasp. This kid is going through so much shit it isn't fair. He's only 17. "Tommy can I touch you arm? I won't if you don't want me too and I'll stop if it hurts to much okay?" I ask.

I was answered with a small nod. "Alright give me a minute" I got off the bed and went to go get some bandaids and rubbing alcohol from my bathroom.

I came back a couple minutes later to tommy laying on my bed sobbing. I walked over to tommy and rubbed his shoulder kneeling next to the bed. "Tommy it's ok, don't worry I'm not gonna tell anyone." I tell him and grab his arm trying to be as gentle as possible.

I grab the rubbing alcohol and start to clean his arm off. After cleaning and drying his arm I put a bunch of bandaids to cover his arm and I rolled up his sleeve.

Tommy had stopped crying at this point and just sat up looking down at his lap.

Tommy's POV:

God how could i let this happen. After so many years of hiding it somehow Karl can find out in 2 days. I mutter a small "thanks" before standing up and leaving his room.

I went to my room and laid down in my bed and pulled out my phone. I checked the time. 12:04. Was it really only noon? Today is gonna be a long day.

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Word count: 1021

I have no idea what I'm doing but again I'm hoping you are enjoying this.