It All Started With a Diary

fine

"Kimberly?"

I looked up. By Ryland's concerned expression, I knew I'd been in my head too long.

"I'm sorry," I shook my head. "Did you say something?"

His eyebrow rose at me, before he looked back to the road. "I said that it's okay to not know. You're still young, and there are a fuck-ton of options. During senior year, college was the last thing on my mind," he chuckled. "But, the sky is the limit. You do whatever makes you happy, got it? You know dad and I will support anything."

I took his words into consideration, bobbing my head. I had to remember that there was still time left to decide my future. "Thank you, Ryland." I flicked my head at him. "Now tell me what's been going on with you."

He began to tell me about his favorite professor, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't stop from wondering if Kades' words were a fever dream. It left my brain in a mush every time I thought about Ryland being a different man. He was a fighter, trained by my father. Both were the sweetest souls in this world, yet there was a side of them that I couldn't understand. That they never wanted me to understand, I think.

I wanted to ask. I wanted to know. But, damn it, every time my mouth opened, the words seemed to freeze and melt right back down my throat. So for right now, I let them.

Ryland slowed into the busy lot. Cars were going in and out in a constant flow, but after circling the space, we found a tight spot between a minivan and a Hyundai.

I walked alongside Ryland to the inside. I was quite shocked at my own self when I requested we split. We could meet back up when we both had what was needed.

I told him that I had to finish shopping for my friends, because I wasn't ready to ruin our day by telling him about Kade and I. It was another conversation that I wasn't planning on having today.

He didn't seem too fond of it since he claimed that his decision making sucked, but I reassured him he'd do amazing in finding a tree. When I turned, I rolled my eyes with a chuckle. You would think that he would be the one reassuring me.

I couldn't help, but wash in a round of pride as I wadded through the sea of people. My anxiety hadn't been so overbearing in weeks, and I was beyond relieved. Usually, it felt as if a wave was just waiting to drown me in its water, but lately, I felt freed from its grasp. I hadn't had an attack in weeks, as well, which was a first time record for me.

Despite it, I was still relieved when I made it to the section of the mall for my leg sake. It was a random jewelry shop. The advertisements on the glass convinced me a little too quickly to peak around.

As I searched the line of jewels, my teeth nibbled my lip in uncertainty. I wasn't even sure Kade liked jewelry, but it didn't hurt to look.

Just as I crossed the store for another section, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I didn't try to resist my smile when I saw the name.

Kade: What are you up to, sweetheart?

My lips tugged into a grin at the message. My fingers hovered above the screen. I wasn't too sure of how to respond without revealing his present.

Me: The Mall with Ryland.

From what I learned, Kade enjoyed video calls or calling more than texting. But, every day since we left town, he would send a text in the morning. Even after I'd left his house, he would still call me after I got into bed. He claimed that it was to help me fall asleep, but every single time, he would be the one to drift off into slumber. On the call, I'd prop my phone up and join him in sleep.

I felt my heart jump when another alert from my phone buzzed.

Kade: Nice.

My fingers tapped at the screen for another response but before I pressed send, he had sent something else.

Kade: I miss you. I'm training all day with Luke, but can I take you out tonight when I'm back?

Kade: Shit, I should've specified. I have a surprise, too. But, how about a dine in movie?

Kade: Sorry about all the texts.

The butterflies in my stomach traveled to my brain. We were miles apart, but I could feel his skepticism through his words. He was being anything but annoying to me.

Me: You're fine. I miss you, and I would love that. What time?

Kade: It'll be pretty late, but I should be back by eight.

Me: I'll be ready.

Kade: Thanks, baby. For the compliment.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I reread over our messages, but found nothing to correlate. He read my mind, the phone buzzing a second letter.

Kade: You're really beautiful yourself. Really. Damn. Beautiful.

I shook my head, chuckling at his flirting. Even though he was constantly complimenting me, this time didn't stop the blush from creeping up my neck.

Me: Get back to work, Kade Ryder.

Kade: I will, Mrs, Ryder. I'll see you tonight.

If I weren't in a public place, I probably would've dropped the phone. I told myself to put less tension on my phone. The grip I had around it was deadly. Mrs. Ryder.

I told myself I was putting too much thought into it, but I knew him. He didn't bring up the thought, even as a joke. I knew that it was mostly to do with his parents, and I never jumped at the idea of children or even marriage when I thought about my parents and their failures, either.

But, those thoughts dwindled into nothingness every time I thought of what we had. What tied us together, what we accomplished together, what we felt for one another. If we continued to understand, grow, and forgive, we could build a foundation of love that nothing could falter.

"Miss?" the heavy accented voice was the one to snap me out of my thoughts. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I looked at the man standing behind the glass. Shit. I didn't want to know how long I'd been standing there for.

I cleared my throat, hoping to avert his attention from my reddening cheeks. "I'm sorry about that. I was wondering if you could show me your men selection."

His white teeth beamed at me as he nodded. "Of course." He pulled out the options I could choose from, but nothing seemed to click with me. But, I wasn't even sure of what I wanted.

I continued to search before the man spoke again. "Is there any preference that we could accommodate you with, perhaps?"

I thought about that. My eyes roamed the signs behind him. There was one that read that the store offered custom made purchases.

Just like that, the perfect gift ringed in my head. I wasn't sure if it would do what was intended, but I could try.

I smiled at the man. "Yes, there is."