Alpha Isaiah ✔️

TWENTY THREE

Word Count: 2274

~Avia

For the rest of the night, I couldn't sleep, and the next day, I avoided Isaiah until evening hit.

Finally, I rise from where I've been curled up under the sheets, head crammed full of contradicting thoughts, the twisting feeling in my stomach not releasing it's tight hold. Through it all, I've devised a plan.

I'm going to speak to Isaiah. What I'm feeling isn't real. He's an attractive man, whose way with words and brutal honesty shook me to the core. I'm not going to let myself mistake that for feelings for him...I'm in love with Kadrick, and the rebellion. Not the Alpha.

So I will continue with the plan. The way he is feeling about me is good, it means it's working. And when I get the chance, I'm going to use that trust to go through his things, reveal his plans, maybe give the rebellion a better insight into his next move.

It almost feels like a recreation of last night, as I tap gently on his office door.

He doesn't respond, so I peer through the gap in the door, smiling tightly at him. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." He seems surprised to see me, dropping his pen as he gestures for me to enter.

"I want to apologise for last night," I admit sheepishly. I ran off like a coward, although I'm grateful for my time to consume my emotions, and sort them in a rational way. Now is not the time to let my emotions best me, when we are so close to nailing this. And it won't be for Malin, or anyone else...

He shakes his head. "You don't need to-"

I cut him off, stepping forward. I can't stop fidgeting with the ring on my finger, that is owned by Kenna. All of my own jewellery is sitting in a box at the compound. Seems as though my entire identity has been discarded there too.

"I do," I whisper, keeping my gaze pinned on his, even though it wants to wander down to whatever he is signing. "Your admission scared me. See, I'm starting to feel that way too, but if I indulge in those feelings, I'm only going to get hurt. There is no engagement waiting for me at home. I'm simply me, as I am."

I'm surprised by my own admission...At some of the truth in it.

Isaiah breathes in slowly, contemplating that information. He's like that...Thoughtful. He takes time to think when I speak, to let it mean something to him. It's a quality about him I didn't think could exist in an Alpha, who is plied for favour by all sorts of common people.

But he always looks at me, with that burning emerald gaze, like I'm actually important to him, like he's taken by me.

"I know, which makes this so hard," he says eventually, clearly toying for the right words. "Why am I feeling like this? I hardly know you."

I lick my lips, unsure about that too. "That's okay..."

He stands, all dressed up in his tailored black jacket and pants, his button-down black also. He's been out today, being an Alpha, doing his duties. His need for me is diminishing, as the upper-class in this Pack have been reacting well to some of his proposals, even if the lower-class are pushing back, rioting and fighting to be heard.

I'm getting sick of the flutter in my stomach whenever I see him, especially when he strides closer, like he is doing now, sitting on the edge of his desk in front of me.

"Tell me something about you," he requests, less so like an Alpha would, and more so like a man would, who is borderline desperate. "I want to know you, Kenna."

Just hearing him say that name...

He doesn't know me. He never will. And that is why this will never work, even if I allowed myself to want it to, even for a second.