Lucky Penny [h.s.]

26.

Silence loomed over the office and I gulped down the lump in my throat, "I went to the police that day."

Amanda nodded, "Good choice. Thank you for telling your story. I understand it's not easy reliving that moment."

It was in fact harder than I had imagined. Everything had happened so quickly lately, and I had in no way dealt with the trauma that I had experienced with Patrick. It was stored somewhere far away in my mind for now, yet when I had to tell the story it closed up my throat.

"Okay," Nick spoke for the first time, "So those are some of the facts. Is there anything else about your relationship that we need to know? Or about Patrick in general? What kind of person is he."

I leaned back in the seat as I thought for a moment, "I guess another vital point of information, is that Patrick and I have never slept together."

Amanda looked surprised, and I didn't even want to see the look on Nick's face. I nodded slowly, "We're both, um, virgins. At least as far as I know. Patrick never wanted to do that, he wanted to wait until marriage. We were never intimate, also not in... other ways. We hardly slept in the same bed, we only kissed with tongue a handful of times." I hoped that explained that we never did oral or hand stuff either without me having to explicitly say it.

"So... When you said he touched you..." Nick sounded confused and I drew a sharp breath, "Yep. That was the first time."

"Was that an intimate touch?" Amanda asked in clarification and I cleared my throat, "Yes. He, um – He had his hand in my underwear."

She raised her brows and nodded, "Okay. That is intimate."

"And to answer your question about who Patrick is... Obviously I don't have many good things to say about him now." I chuckled dryly, "Um... He's someone who's very into his principles. Titles, image and appearance are all very important to him. Somehow, he changed so much over the years. He's not at all the person anymore I fell in love with. I know he was only a boy back then but..." I shook my head to myself.

"Anyway. He's a very stoic, serious person. His work is everything, he has won some awards and stuff. He always wanted me to behave, and most of the times it honestly seemed like he was embarrassed of me. He never wanted me to go with him to office parties, I hardly ever saw his friends... A friend of mine called him a narcissist, but I've honestly not looked into it enough to make a claim like that. I don't like to throw around official titles and be done with it. Besides, for me it doesn't really matter if he's a narcissist or not, it's not going to change anything." I continued.

Nick and Amanda both nodded, "Okay." Nick spoke but I saw hesitation in his eyes, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why did you stay?"

"Nick!" Amanda scolded him immediately, her eyes wide as he seemed panicked from her reaction. I knew he was an associate, and he'd surely get an ass whipping for this once I was gone. Her eyes seemed to shoot fire at him and he quickly flicked his eyes back to me, "I-I'm sorry." I felt like Amanda was about to kick him out at any second.

"No," I shook my head, "It's okay. Honestly... I can only see how bad it was now that I'm not in it any longer. But I just normalized his behaviour a lot. There were always excuses. He always said he had a horrible temper, and I should know better than to challenge him. Basically I had to sit still and look pretty, nod my head yes and never talk back. And I did, for years. But that's not a relationship, that's me being his pet. The second I opened my mouth and we got into a discussion, or just a difference of opinion, he cowered me back into a corner and screamed and yelled insults. He pushed me around, physically and emotionally. I guess I always minimized it, which is why I stayed because I could never see it like that... Like I was blind, even though my friends pointed it out to me all the time and I just chose to ignore them. Until I was out of it and then I realized how horrible he was."