The True Saint

Keramzin Girl

I ask her, "can I speak with you, Miss Amelia?"

"Yes," she replies. We leave the kids with dumbfounded visages.

Was it petty for me to act that way in front of those kids? Maybe. However, they will continue to talk about Keramzin as if anyone from the orphanage is incompetent had I not said anything.

        We sit together in the courtyard and Amelia tells me how her day has been. Those older kids come up in the conversation and I take the chance to ask if they have bothered her before.

She replies, "not very much. They are mean to all of the kids, but they think I'm odd because I don't have parents... Am I?"

This breaks my heart. I wrap my arms around her small frame and say, "no, of course not. If anything, it makes you stronger." I sigh and hold her hands in mine. "The world has not been kind to us. But it will take more to knock us down, won't it?"

She nods and her dimpled smile returns. "Amelia, would you like to live at the Grand Palace with me?" Her eyes go wide. "I have already gotten permission from the King."

"You mean live at the place with the best Grisha and princes and princesses and butter garlic rolls?" Her smile grows wider with sparkling eyes.

I laugh. "Well the King and I are the only royalty there, but we do certainly have garlic rolls."

"Well then I'll have to accept," she says exuberantly.

"We can get you a room set up and come back-"

"I'll go get my things!"

Before I can tell her to wait, she has run down the path and into the Little Palace. I let out something in between a sigh and a giggle. Apparently, she is traveling back with me this morning. I am sure the Darkling will not mind her arriving a couple of days earlier.

Amelia reappears with a small bag of items. "Did you get everything?" I question.

"Yes," she says as she carries it to the carriage. It would make sense that she does not have many personal belongings. I try to hide my pained expression. I was the same, having no sentimental items. All I have is scars to remember Mal by. As for Amelia, everything is shared in the orphanage and she was taken to the Little Palace at a young age. I hope that this will change when she has additional freedom at the Grand Palace.

        When we arrive, she greets every Grisha and guard that walks past us. They all bow or curtsy and say my title.

        "Everyone bows when they are close to you. Am I supposed to when I'm near you too?" she asks troubled. Amelia bends at her waist and continues to walk alongside me in a hunched position.

        I laugh and say, "there is no need for you to curtsy." Her head flies up and she walks normally again.

        I show her to her room, which is on the same floor as mine. It is not cleaned up yet and there are boxes of items that had occupied the room previously, scattered on the floor. She cautiously walks in and sets her bag on the ground. There is a canopied bed in the corner and a large oak wardrobe. On the immediate wall, a small dressing table with a mirror sits adjacent to the window seat.

        The room was not nearly as elegant as the Darkling's, however, I'm sure it is an improvement from her current space.

        "It might need some renovating and moving things around to your liking, but I think-"

        "I love it," she whispers. I sigh in relief. She likes it here. That's good.

        "Well then. I'll leave you to explore." Amelia has forgotten that I am there altogether. She goes deeper into the room and begins to look at the furniture closer. I close the door and leave her to her new, private space.

***

        It is late by the time I retire to the bedroom. Usually, the Darkling comes in hours after me, but I am surprised to be met with Aleksander as I open the door. He pulls me inside and shuts us in. The Darkling pushes me up against the wall and kisses every piece of exposed skin that I possess. I am reminded of the night before. Tonight will most likely have the same result if we continue. As hard as I try to remember the monstrous things he has done to me, my mind is blinded by our shared desire.

I hear a tiny sound coming from outside of our door. I just about dismiss it until it occurs again. I realize that it is a knock. The Darkling hears it too. I pull away from him and walk over to open the door. I am met with little Amelia standing at the entrance. She is in a light blue nightdress and slippers.

"Hello, Amelia. What are you doing here?" I inquire. She looks down timidly at her feet and shrugs.

"Having trouble adjusting to the Grand Palace?"

She nods and looks up at me with her large puppy dog eyes. I look behind me at the Darkling, who has migrated to the other side of the room and is sitting on the bed. He gives a disapproving look as he recognizes what I am going to say next.

"Would you like to sleep here tonight?"

She nods again and her lips curve into a grin.

I open the door wider to let her in. She rushes in and jumps up onto the bed alongside the Darkling.

"Just for tonight," the Darkling indicates, scooping her up and placing her under the blankets. She giggles and squirms deeper into the large bed. He gets under the covers beside her.

        I take off my kefta and join them, sandwiching Amelia in between me and the Darkling. She scoots closer to me and hugs my core. I hold Amelia close and stroke her curly hair until her eyelids flutter shut. Amelia's breathing gets softer and farther apart. The Darkling has been facing us, watching me the entire time.

        When he is sure that Amelia is asleep, he whispers, "she cares for you very much."

        I reply, "and I care about her, which is why I will do anything to keep her out of harm's way. The council directly threatened her. She would not be in danger if it wasn't for me."

        Amelia whimpers then settles into her slumber again.

        "She is like you in many ways. You two were meant to meet."

        I look down at the peaceful, sleeping child in my arms. The difference between us is that she is innocent yet. She has not seen the horrors of the world in its entirety. I pray to all saints listening that she will not have to experience the world's ugliness. At least not for a long time.

        Eventually, we all succumb to the pull of sleep. 'What a bunch of broken people we are'. The Darkling's words ring true. We are all broken in some way. However, we are all together now, preventing each other from falling apart, keeping us intact like glue. Maybe we were meant for each other. All of us.