escort | njm

thirty.

Golden threads of morning light arrive through her curtains as it falls upon Jaemin's face ever so softly. His skin a shade of golden from the light, and Areum couldn't help but stare at it for a little while when awoke to his beauty moments ago. In the wash of the new light, his face takes on the appearance of an old photograph, one of nostalgia, so beautiful.

She watches as it brings his skin into focus, not yet animated with the warmth of who he was, for he is still in the land of dreams, her arms slung over his body. Jaemin's head tucked into her chest, his raven hair tickling at her cheeks with his minty smell. And since there is no better thing to do but to bring her body so close that their hearts synchronise, she'll hug him till he's awake, when the light is so strong that he comes into the present with her, eyes open then she'll back off.

That moment didn't last for long when she saw him shuffling under the sheets, and that's just her sign for her to move away slightly further, closing her eyes to sleep the nervousness away. "Good morning." His voice is groggy, there's a hint of happiness in it, but she just couldn't figure out why. It was like sugar to her, the sweetness of a butter melting on a freshly toasted french toast with maple syrup drizzled all over, that kind of burning sweetness.

Areum's eyes are tightly shut, she doesn't want him finding out that she has been awake all this while and taking the chance to nuzzle her nose into his hair, to have her hands caressing at his back. "Oh she's still asleep." She could hear him mumbling to himself but it's the next movement of his that makes her heart drop. His soft delicate pale fingers caressing at her cheeks, tucking the few strands of hers behind her ears. It's always the actions that get to her, that keeps her hope high up.

The fact that he could be doing this just because they're best-friends, without the part that they're madly in love with each other, she chose to believe so and not the probability that he could ever love her. The heat emitting from his hands as it touches the skin of her freezing ones at every caress, how she wishes for the moment to stop. For them to be in a bubble where everything stops moving, the time stops ticking, and the only repetitive motion of his that gets her heart tingling in every aspect.

She could fall asleep in his touches now, but everything doesn't go her way when she feels his lips on her forehead. The lips that she had been yearning for, that lips that she had been ranting to her friends for not being able to kiss them. Because he planted such a delicate gentle kiss on her lips as he runs his fingers through her hair softly, it makes her heart stop beating.

'It's a friendly kiss, nothing else, platonic love.' She convinces herself to believe that statement, she doesn't want to seem like a loser who would break down mentally right on the spot when one day he just goes "I've got a girlfriend." Areum's just preparing herself in advance, she doesn't and will never know what the hell Jaemin is thinking. He could just be fooling around and she could be the fool to believe him if such things as precautions didn't exist.

It's just a friendly kiss, just a friendly good morning kiss. Everything seems worse than it already was, more complicated than before and she hates it, she wishes everything goes back to square one where her feelings never came in between them. Where her feelings were the least of her priorities and they're just best-friends, just like usual. Where she never dreams of him, never thinks of him in a different way, more than she should as a friend, because it seemed like she made everything worse.

If only she didn't fall in love, if only she could control feelings, if only he didn't go up to her and ask for directions on the first day of school. There's so many if's in the world, but the if's never goes according to her plans, to her if's. It seemed like the world was against her, her fate, her destiny and her feelings. How badly she hated this feeling all because she couldn't control her liking towards her best-friend. But if she thinks about it in another perspective, who can ever reject him? Who can ever control their liking towards him? No one, and she shouldn't be feeling bad about it.

"I'll go cook us something." She could feel him getting out of her bed, tucking her in with her duvets but it smelled awfully like him. And she awfully likes it, hates the way this is the smell she'd want to wake up to, hates the way she wants his smell to fill the entire room with, but she shouldn't. Her mind reminisces the way his faint voices graze upon her when he calls her name, and she'd practically beg for him to call out her name one more time.

"Good morning." Areum finds herself greeting the man standing right beside her in a pastel pink apron with teddy bears decorated on it when she makes her way out of the bedroom, rubbing at her eyes. "Areum, how many times do I have to remind you that your microwave shouldn't be next to the sink but nonetheless good morning to you, baby." His last words made her heart skip a little, right after she had calmed herself down in the bedroom, screaming into her pillows?

"I'm making pancakes, they're gonna be ready soon so just go wash up a little. Also, do I have to remind you that water and fire are explosive hazards, you do realise that right?" He has his eyebrow cocked up, questioning her with an almost stern face as if he's tired of her ignoring his reminders. Areum could only sheepishly nod at him, looking at her feet with her hands behind her back as if a student's getting lectured. Jaemin tousled at her thin strands, further disheveling it than it already was when she woke up. "Go, go wash up, I can already smell the bad breath of yours." He pushes her away from the kitchen.

"Hey! Yours is even worse, you're in no rights to speak of mine when yours smelled like a rotten dick." Areum points at him, with a pout formed at the end of her lips. "What the fuck, a rotten dick? You sucked a dick before? That's surprising." He laughs at her comment, before trying to shoo her away with his hand signs. "I will suck your dick if you shut up." Areum sticks her tongue out at him before stomping away, clearly not filtering whatever bullshit she just said, maybe not bullshit, more like desires. "Yeah bet, suck my dick then."

"I was joking, no one wants to suck that dick of yours!" Her speech is slurred as she brushes her teeth, and it makes Jaemin unable to resist the cuteness that has made his heart flutter. A plate of pancake in his hands, drizzled with maple syrup and berries by the side, just the way she likes her pancakes to be. "Pancakes, just the way you like it." He pushes the plate of pancakes towards Areum, where she was sitting down right infront of him by the island counter. "Thank you." She mumbles, munching on the pancakes with her eyes almost glowing with stars in them, her dimples which were seldom shown even appeared.

That's where he finds home in, her dimples, decorating her cheeks on both sides of her face, it's one not too deep but one not too shallow, everyone would fall in love with her for the way she is. She never has any flaws in his eyes, besides the fact that she gets too stubborn with the fact that she hasn't moved the microwave for the past two years with his continuous nagging. In everyone's eyes, Jaemin could be your local absolutely pretty boy, but in Areum's eyes it was different.

He was just like any other person, born in 2000 with a height of 177, he was an ordinary human being to her. There were days he would cry in her embrace from the frustration of homework while she sits by him, trying to help him understand the question. His room was always in a state of mess whenever she'd go over, he needed help from her even if it was the smallest things. He needed help with tying his tie, and she remembers scolding him for being 21 and still not being able to tie his own tie, but he probably just likes the closeness between them whenever she ties it for him. He's just pretty ordinary to her.

"There's a party tonight that Jaeyun's hosting, you wanna go?" He watches her eyes light in a moment of seconds, her head lifted up at lightning speed. 'Damn, she must have really liked Jaeyun.' He chuckles bitterly to himself at the thought of it. "Jaeyun? You're asking me whether I wanna go to Jaeyun's party? Of course, he's a totally nice guy. Who else is going?"

"Uh Min-Rae and Eun plus some other university mates?"

"Oh."

She could feel her heart drop when he mentions her name.