Surrera Oneshots & Drabbles

I'm Sorry

Happy Sunday, Friends. This short one shot is dedicated to Moo! Love you friend and Happy Birthday! I thought I would finish the rain fic for you...but you know gotta go where the inspo takes me. It's close to being done... until then, enjoy! A little sad, but ends hopeful. XO, Reddixon

"It was too quiet," Robert thought to himself as he changed into a pair of joggers and a t-shirt. It was a work day so he wasn't planning to be home, but after losing one of their own, 19 was taken offline. For the next 24 hours calls would be re-routed to other stations while their team regrouped.

As an introvert, he didn't normally mind the quiet, but tonight it was deafening. When all he wanted to do was escape, have some semblance of distraction so he didn't have to think or feel...the silence was loud. He couldn't help but replay the events of the day over in his head. The deaths and so many injuries. When they'd left the scene they all knew that despite Warren's best efforts, Miller likely wouldn't make it. It was confirmed a short time later he was dead on arrival at Grey Sloan. Robert had done this job for 20 years, but losing a fellow firefighter never got easier and this...this hurt.

There was the pain of losing the person and missing what they brought to the group, the concern for their families and then inevitably you having to face your own mortality. The job was always dangerous and they all knew that, but still most days you expected to make it home. Tonight one of them didn't.

He thought about Pru and his heart ached for the little girl. Losing both parents at 16, he knew the feeling of grief as a kid all too well. His only solace was that she was young. She wouldn't really understand what was going on for some time.

He and Miller had begun to develop a friendship, but it was nothing like what he shared with the rest of the team. For them, losing Dean would feel like him losing Ripley and he knew what a gaping hole that could leave. And of course, he also couldn't help but worry about his wife. Andy's words replayed over in his mind about how she couldn't handle anymore losses and this was big.

Earlier in the evening he'd debated checking on her. He wanted to see how she was doing. Despite the divorce papers, despite the separation, she was still the woman he loved and he'd spent 3 days in bed with her after dad. Robert worried about whether or not this just might be the thing that broke her. But it had been weeks since he gave her the signed divorce papers and she hadn't said anything, signed or filed... so he just didn't know where they stood.

While trying to make a decision about what to do, Robert zoned out in front of the TV with SportsCenter on. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there when he heard the knock at the front door. He wasn't expecting a delivery and these days didn't have unexpected company. Getting up from the couch he knew it could only be one person. Opening the door, there his wife stood, dejected, still in her uniform, disheveled hair and eyes heavy with grief.

"Hey," Robert said, softly with concern in his voice.

Andy hadn't planned to end up here, but when she got in her car after leaving Pru and sitting with Vic, there was only one place she wanted to be. She'd spent nearly a year upset with him and yet on the worst day she'd had in longer than she could remember all she wanted to do was be with him. Feel his strength, feel his safety...be comforted by him. When Robert opened the door, dressed casually in joggers and a t-shirt Andy couldn't help the feeling of relief that washed over her. She'd held it together that evening for Pru, was strong for Travis and Vic, but she felt exhaustion deep in her bones.

Skipping all pleasantries Andy blurted out, "I uhmmm... I'm not really sure what I'm doing here. I just left the hospital after dropping Pru with Warren." With soft eyes, Robert listened patiently as Andy spoke. "And I got in my car and just kind of ended up here..." Andy shrugged her shoulders lightly, looked away and wiped the single tear that had fallen before finding Robert's eyes again. "I've been awful to you and you don't owe me anything. I just..." her voice cracked and though she did her best to hold them back, hot tears cascaded down her cheeks faster than she could stop them.