Red-Heads On The Battle Front

4. Mum Is The Name Of A Much-Loved Piece Of Bread

I didn't come out of my room for three days. It wasn't just the humiliation that kept me in, it was the amount of plotting and planning that had to be done. This was going to be big and this was going to make him regret his whole life.

My mother still hadn't asked me what had happened that day, but during my self-imposed exile in my room, I had found my book outside the door. That made me smile. I had my book, I was regaining my dignity and there would be redemption for my humiliation. Perfect.

I stayed up most of those three nights, carefully arranging every microscopic detail into place, taking into account various situations that could possibly disrupt the ultimate prank. The only thing I cared about was this prank. Mr. Moron was going down.

I couldn't wait, but wait I had to, for there was no perfect time to actually put the plan into action and I was simply itching to try it out. Sigh.

I showered and put my ponytail up in its usual messy bun and grabbed my book, frowning at the one I stole from Mr. Moron like it had personally offended me. I shook my head and walked up to the door. Just as I was about to turn the knob, somebody knocked.

"Gwen?"

I was snapped out of my reverie by my mother's voice outside my door.

"Gwen, honey, it's been three days...are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"No, Mum, I'm good" I said, opening the door and stepping out and smiling at her. She looked worried and I rolled my eyes "Mother, darling, what ails thee so?" I said in my best British accent. A grin broke across her face and she suddenly pulled me into a hug. "Er..."

"I'm glad my baby is alright"

"Mum"

"It was just that, when you came in here, you looked so humiliated-"

"Mum"

"And then you wouldn't talk to any of-"

"MUM! I'm okay!" I said grinning and wriggling out of her grasp. Phew. "I'm okay!"

"Tell you what...let's go book-shopping today!" My eyes widened and I let out a yelp.

"REALLY?"

She laughed "Really, really."

"YAY!" I shouted dragging her down the stairs "COME ON! LET'S GO!"

"Gwen! Slow down!"

"COME ON MOMMY-POKO-PANTS! LEGGO!"

Mum laughed and let me drag her along. Best. Day. Ever.

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"Are you done yet?"

"NO! I NEED THAT ONE BOOK I CAN'T FIND!"

"Come on, Gwen, what's its name?"

"FROST! IT'S CALLED FROST!"

I was frantic. I couldn't find it anywhere. Finally, finally, Mum was taking me to a bookstore, to the holy house of books, and I couldn't find it."Is it this one?"

I turned and there it was, that beautiful blue cover, that shimmering, magnificent-

Mum laughed at the look of ecstasy on my face and handed it to me. I looked at it for a second and then turned to her, straightening my face

"Mum?"

"Yes, Gwen?"

"I lost Benedict Cumberbatch"

She laughed and ruffled my hair

"Let's go get some ice cream" she said, eyes twinkling and I grinned as she led me to the cash counter, arms full of books, and the biggest smile on my face. This was the best day ever.

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"MUM!" I shrieked as she tickled me "MUM STOP!"

We were in the park, ice cream melting on our tongues and mother darling was tickling me.

"MUM NOOOO!" Her clear laughter rung across the park and people were looking up and smiling as she tickled me to death on the grass. I flailed my arms around, attempting to escape from her grasp but she sat on me and proceeded to tickle me even more. "MUM!" I screamed and she laughed again and sat beside me instead of on me.

"I hate you" I huffed, straightening my glasses.

"I love you too, Whinny" she laughed and I couldn't help but grin along with her as I watched the geese fight over a piece of bread

"That's me" Mum said

"What?"

"That bread piece, it's me" she said dramatically

"Why?"

"Because all of you guys tearing and ripping at me 'Mum, this!', 'Mum, that!'-"

"-'Mum Gwen's bothering me again!'" I intoned and then we laughed.

"I love you, Mum"

"I love you too, darling"

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I laughed and chattered all the way in the car. I was the happiest I'd been in days. Yes, plotting was fun, but a whole day surrounded by the rustle of paper, the woody smell of books and ice cream...it was heaven. As we drew closer home, my eyes were drawn to the Whitfields' house and, with a jolt, I saw Mr. Moronsitting on the window seat in his room. The car window was, unfortunately open, so he could clearly see my face. Inside, I felt a boiling rage and a quiet sense of satisfaction as to what was going to happen take over my happiness, but on the outside I was as cool as a cucumber. Yes I used that, sue me. I grinned and waved at him and his eyes widened, but he waved uncertainly back. Good. I've lulled him into a false sense of security. I grinned and looked at Mum, who raised her eyebrow. I shrugged. Life was good, but it was going to get better. Way better.

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 A/N: Haha, yeah, I know, totally unnecessary chapter, but I wanted a little in-between so that the full effect of what she's going to do to him - oh get you're mind out of the gutter! - shines out when I write it and you lovelies read it. It's already half-written, by the way *grins* Yes, yes. You may kiss my feet *holds out stinky feet* But here's some Mum-Gwen bonding and I thought it was really sweet. Shout-outs to Maena, my own mother, for being the greatest, prickliest, sweetheart I've ever known and ELatimer on Wattpad. I hope you don't mind me mentioning 'Frost' on here *grins* Y'all go check her out and be enamoured by her writing like I am! Also, for those who didn't get the 'I lost Benedict Cumberbatch' line, I once saw this (tumblr?) post on how Moms can find anything. If I find the post, I'll link the photo, and if any of you find it, link me so I can put it on here! Anywho, ciaou my cannibalistic rainbow munchkins <3

xxx

Sage