Hannah & The Highlander [Book 1 in the time travel series]

Chapter Eleven: Dellima of the Heart

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2013



Chapter Eleven: Dellima of the Heart



@Hannah's P.O.V.@



I stood there, mouth gaping open, stock still and shell shocked while Cailen stared at me, waiting for my reaction. To say the least, words failed me. I tried to gather what little composer I had, but Cailen's declaration had blown it away to smithereens.



All this time I had been wondering constantly about all things Cailen; whether I liked or if he liked me back. But love? Love was some scary, ominous being that had always loomed far away towards the distant future. 'Love' was an entire ocean away from 'like'. It was a whole different ballpark! I was sixteen-year-old girl who somehow became stuck in 12th century Scotland. And here was this amazing, totally drool worthy 12th century hottie, who had just declared his love for me.



This dream-or whatever it was, some kind of whacked out Doctor Who bullshit-was getting way out of hand. My reputation? What did Cailen expect from me? Marriage? I was sixfreakingteen years old! I was not ready to marry anyone. Love meant something completely different here than it did back home. In the 21st century, it meant you had a close bond, a mutual affection and that maybe, someday, there would be more. But here it meant marriage and as many babies a girl can pop out in her lifetime. That wasn't for me.



Did I care about Cailen? Yes. Was I attracted to him? Hell yes! But, could I make that kind of commitment? Could I possibly relinquish any chance of seeing my family again? Of going home? They were big questions; and they scared the living hell out of me.



"Hannah? Love? Are ye all right?"



I lifted my eyes to meet Cailen's. My heart nearly shattered at the vulnerable expression Cailen wore on his face. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shitity-shit, shitty! What the hell was I supposed to do? I gnawed on my bottom lip, debating this, when Cailen's warm, calluses had came up, tugging it free from my teeth. I stared up him, a fresh bloom of red appearing across my cheeks.



"Hannah," Cailen said, not removing the hand that cupped my chin, his thumbed brushing against my bottom lip, sending a myriad of delirious bolts of electricity through me. "Hannah, donnae look so troubled. My feelings willna be a burden. I can plainly see ye do nae return my feelings-"



"No!" I heard myself shout, my hands capturing his. "It's not like that! I-I'm not sure how I feel about you, but I do feel something for you. I like you, and I like spending time with you, and I am seriously starting to dig the whole castle-knights-and-horseback thing; but, Cailen, I can't stay here. I have to go home. My family's probably brought half of Scotland yard looking for me. If they don't kill me, I'll be locked up in my room until I'm legal."



From Cailen, all I got was a blank stare. I groaned inwardly, knowing that about 80% of what I just said had probably went right over his head. I massaged the bridge of my nose, fighting the oncoming migraine.



"Cail, what I'm trying to say is that . . . to you . . . love comes with a lot of baggage. I mean, marriage, kids the whole shebang! I'm only sixteen; I'm barely old enough to drive, and way too young to get married. I really, really like you, but . . . I have a home. A family, and friends who care about me. I can't just disappear off the face of the earth.



"I have to at least try to get back home. And I know that if I let myself fall for you . . . I wont be able to let you go," the last word broke into a million pieces on my tongue, and I sucked in a shaking breath. "Believe me, more than anything in the world, I want to be with you. I love it here. I love the hills and the flowers and Balagown. But, I can't give up my family for it. Could you, Cailen? Could you turn your back on the clan and just leave? To make a choice so selfish and leave everyone you care about and love, just so that you could be happy?"



Cailen was silent as he contemplated my questions. He turned his back to me, his gaze facing heavenward, staring up at the gazillion of twinkling diamond like stars in the black velvet sky. What was he thinking? I wondered. Did he despise me now? I couldn't blame him if he did. I was a grade A bitch. Here was this Adonis of a Highland warrior, a laird no less, offering me his heart and I had just turned him down flat. Any girl in my position would have said 'screw it!' and thrown herself at his feet.



Hannah Darlene Roberts, you are a moron. I knew in these few seconds I had probably just made the biggest mistake of my life.



"Close yer eyes."



I started in surprise at Cailen's voice. I looked up to meet his green eyes, there was a glacial resolution in those eyes. My stomach flipped and flopped, while tingles cartwheeled across my ribcage.



"Wh-what?" I stuttered, sputtering and stammering like a halfwit.



Cailen let a small chuckle that vibrated through his chest, a gleam of mischief touching his eyes, defrosting their Ivey depths. "I donnae intend ta hurt you, lass. Please, humor me."



Well, seeing as I had just rejected him flat out, I did as I was instructed. I closed my eyes and waited. At first nothing happened. All I heard was the soft rasp of our breathing, joined together in perfect sync. Then, suddenly, his large, warm hands were on my waist, drawing my all too willing body against his masculine one.



One hand stayed at my waist while the other began a agonizingly slow journey up the side of my body. His finger tips whispered across my ribcage, just barely grazing the side of my breast, sending a paralyzing zing of euphoria through me. Across my shoulder, a finger idly tracing my collarbone. That idle finger went up my neck, his nails lightly scratching against the sensitive plain of skin there, causing me to moan.



Cailen's body radiated with the low chuckle he gave out. I could feel his warm breath fanning against against my face, tickling my senses. Next I felt his lips against my temple, then my nose, my eyebrow, my eyelid, my cheek, and at last my lips. The kiss was slow, and in it he conveyed all of his wishes and desires. It was a kiss for tomorrow. Not a good bye; no, just a simple goodnight. This was Cailen telling me what he couldn't put into words. It was beautiful. It was sad. It was perfect and tragic all at once. I wanted to turn back the clock, to take back my words and do this all over again.



I love you, I thought, tears welling behind my closed lids.



All too soon Cailen broke away. I went to open my eyes, but Cailen's hand came down, covering my eyes, rendering me blind.



"Nae, nae, lass. I willnae give up on ye so easily. I am a verra persistent man. I can wait for as long as as it takes. I willnae force ye to my bed; I want more than that. I want yer love and yer heart. I willnae risk losing ye to fulfill my own desires."



My heart sang, and behind his hand tears burned my eyes. Why did he have to be so . . . so freaking Cailen!? Weren't guys in this time supposed to be all possessive and cave mannish? I was yanked out of my musings when I felt Cailen's lips lightly brush me. I tasted a salty moisture on them. Were they my tears or his?



In a breath, he was gone. I was staring into nothing, all the warmth that had been building up inside me was gone, like it had never existed. I was empty and cold. My legs gave away, my body crumbling to the ground like a dead weight. I pulled my legs close to my chest, burying my face in the soft folds of my gown. There, alone in the courtyard, I allowed my tears of self loathing, desperation and heart break to escape unbidden. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, and then I cried some more until I thought myself empty of any tears.



I cried for Cailen, and his heart that I had so cruelly crushed in my hands. I cried for his unyielding hope. I cried for myself, for my family and the home I may never see again. I cried for my own foolish heart, that had so easily been taken without me knowing.



Once my tears were gone, I drifted away into a deep, welcoming dreamless sleep.



_______________________Author'sNote_________________________

Ta dah! A rather unexpected chapter update for Hannah and the Highlander! I listen to a dozen depressing songs-Sad. Beautiful. Tragic. By T Swift was a HUGE contributor during that little kiss scene. I know a couple of you are probably going 'ewwww Taylor Swift!' But cereal guys, the song is majorly melo. Also Last Kiss would fit kind of perfectly for it to.

Anyway...a high percentage of you more than likely wish you could get ahold of me or Hannah and give us a good smackin'. But! Have no fear, things will get better. I just want to make them both work for their Happily Ever After. Love never comes easy! So this is me trying to incorporate a bit of a realistic spin on it all. It's already pretty far-fetched(but I think we would all give up a limb for a chance to time travel and find our very own Knight in white armor :) ).

So anyway, I'd like to thank the flood of votes that came in the moment I posted the last chapter. This was my expression---> 8D

So Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! Vote some more(if we get to forty I'll post sooner!!!) Comment(cannot even begin to describe how badly I want to hear what y'all think of what I'm doing here!!!) and Fan just because you think I'm amazing and you love Cailen :)

P.s. seriously sorry about it being short!!!!

(March 24th i've added taylor swifts video to this chapter, listen while u read :))