Paint Me Red

Chapter 18: The bet

Now that I think of it, wala pa akong napapanood na pelikula kung saan starring siya kahit gaano pa ito kasikat. Masyado kasi akong lubog sa trabaho kaya 'di ko nagawa. 

His face is displayed on the screen. Napatitig ako sa malalim niyang mga mata. It's as if he's really looking at me with those set of silver eyes, compelling me to click 'watch' so I did. 

Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na ang lumipas at hindi ko napansin na masyado na pala akong naka focus sa pinapanood ko sa puntong 'di ko na nagalaw 'yong pagkain ko. Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang kumawala sa aking mga mata habang nakatitig sa kanyang mga mata na umiiyak para sa namatay niyang nanay on-screen.

It's believable.

He really is a great actor.

The emotions . . . The delivery . . . The small details . . . It's perfect. 

Hindi mo aakalain na may alexithymia siya. He's that good.

Natapos ang pelikula at napuno ng tissue ang tabi ko. 'Di ko naman alam na sad ending pala 'to. e! But I didn't regret watching it. It was good. The entire time, I was busy watching him act. How his eyes captivate the viewers, how his lips deliver the lines as if it's not a script, how his perfect body —

Huh?

Namula agad 'yong pisngi ko at iwinaksi ang imaheng 'yon sa aking isipan. Pakiramdam ko masyado na akong naparami ng beer.

I tried watching his other films and this one is kinda steamy. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a toned chest followed by a toned abs. His jeans were hanging low on his waist revealing the V. 

Napalunok ako. This is the first time I'm ogling at his body. 

I want to close the T.V. but I can't. Nakatutok lang ako sa katawan niya na nagdala ng kakaibang init sa aking katawan. He's not doing anything to me but I feel seduced. His dark eyes look at me through the screen, his long lashes complemented his eyes so well. 

I felt a tingling sensation in my stomach when I remembered those eyes in personal. How he looks at me with so much intensity as if he's undressing me. 

But that's impossible. I'm not his type. Baka imagination ko lang 'yon. Assumera gano'n.

I only stop fantasizing him when he kissed the female lead. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko biglang naisip kung anong lasa ng kanyang labi. 

Snap out of it, Scarlett! Landi landi mo!

Namula ang mga pisngi ko. I felt a pang of jealousy when the female lead caressed his hair and pulled him closer for a deep kiss. I know, it's their job as actors but it felt too raw, too personal, I don't like it.

Hindi ko na alam kung anong pinag iisip ko. Why am I feeling like this? Pinatay ko na lang 'yong T.V. Kasalanan 'to ng beer!

Natulog na lang ako pagkatapos dahil may trabaho na naman ako bukas. But damn it, I dreamt of Ivan kissing me like he kissed that actress. That was the only thing I remembered when I woke up in the middle of the night.

I was restless the next morning kaya nilubog ko na lang ang sarili ko sa trabaho.

Lunch break ko ngayon at biglang nag-aya si Dani kaya heto ako, papunta sa restaurant na sinabi niya. Pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko ay agad ko siyang naaninag sa pinaka dulo kaya nilapitan ko siya—or should I say, sila?

I saw Felix, her boyfriend, sa tabi niya.

'Di naman niya sinabi sa akin na kasama niya jowa niya. Ginawa pa akong third wheel ng gaga.