as he entered the right place, he bowed towards some staff and got into the elevator. the backstage of the show was on the third floor. a typical melody inside the metal square sounded from the speakers, and doyoung smiled to himself. not long after the tin door opened and he got out.
the backstage in doyoung's opinion reminded one of a racket so he decided to just stay aside, monitoring his hyung's mceeing from the tv hanging on the wall. the show was nearly ended at that time, with only some performances left. doyoung's usual bright demeanor made him cheer for every artist, and of course for his favorite host.
his eyes were keenly following jihoon on the screen, catching his every little motion, every curve of his lips, his attractive winks towards the camera, and how he tried to dance other groups' choreography. doyoung felt beyond proud of his hyung, he wanted to become as amazing and entertaining as he was, he could avert everyone's attention just with the way he talked, he moved. everything about him was mesmerizing, doyoung's felt a pleasant sensation running through his body as he thought that soon jihoon is all his.
yet, something has changed within seconds. his eyes though keen hadn't spied one thing that was unusual and new in today's episode. he noticed that sungchan, his boyfriend's dongsaeng and the second mc had had a paper crown on his head with a huge exclamation "생일 축하해요!!"*.
for the first time during the one-hour-long program, he averted his gaze down, not looking at the screen anymore. what he saw pierced a needle through his heart. firstly jihoon sang sungchan a happy birthday song, then handed him a small, blue package with a ribbon on it, and lastly, he ruffled his hair so lovingly. doyoung has never felt jealous over anyone, most probably that's why the feeling had such an impact upon him.
he sat down somewhere nearby, ignoring the fact that the show was still ongoing. honestly, he wanted the tv to be turned off cause he still could hear jihoon's sweet voice saying sweet things to his dongsaeng. doyoung was aware of their strong friendship. their relationship grew closer as it was almost inevitable due to their inkigayo duties. however, it was sungchan, a guy from a different group, a different company, a different vicinity.
doyoung was fine with jihoon getting clingy towards mashiho, he saw no problem with his boyfriend lifting asahi in his arms, and he has never got sulky if he hugged yedam tightly or praised haruto's visual. they were all family so he could understand it all. however, sungchan certainly wasn't a part of their group. he was almost a stranger to the younger, he has barely known him for he had talked to him only once, at the utmost twice.
did he have a reason to become jealous of him?
the show has come to an end. jihoon beckoned respectfully to the winners with the inkigayo trophy in their hands and headed to the backstage. as he was just about to pass through the door, someone's arm stopped him. yet the door remained open and if only jihoon looked who was inside, watching him silently, with a camera in his trembling hands and a smile faltering second by second, he would enter the room immediately, opening his arms to welcome the smaller body in his embrace.
however he didn't notice doyoung, and so when sungchan took him somewhere else instead he followed his friend. doyoung's heart churned, gulping heavily the boy decided to go behind the pair. he lost them from sight so he started wandering around many corridors, peeking through more or less spacious rooms and halls.
finally, a well-known, sweet laugh tinkled in his ears. it was coming from behind one of the doors nearby. he clenched the held camera in his weak hands even more without realizing it, and after breathing in and out, turned the doorknob. there he saw sungchan with some pile that resembled a birthday cake in his hands, smiling brighter than the sun and jihoon right next to him with a bouquet of flowers. well, these weren't flowers but plushies. bunch of soft, colorful toys all huddled in some mint blanket.
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jihoon was smiling like a fool as well. they were looking at each other. so fondly. it seemed as if they couldn't see the world around them, they were so happy together. and this hurt. if doyoung was hurt before it was nothing compared to what was happening now.
with only the vestige of strength, he closed the door very quietly, carefully put the camera down on the floor, and turned around. his gaze blurred, tears tremendously heavy. he couldn't hold them. he passed by many people but no one seemed to bother about him, maybe no one noticed. people were too much in a hurry to care. the elevator took him to the ground floor, where he headed towards the exit. once he got out, a cool wind fanned around, drying his soaked cheeks. he smiled dimly and stepped forward, deciding to spend some time alone. with no one else.
