SWAT - One Shots

5x04 - "I cant"

A/N:
Hey guys, I really wanted to write a follow up scene for that heartbreaking ending to 5x04 with Stris and it didn't really fit the storyline my other fanfic was taking so I decided to create this one shot compilation book!
Enjoy! Or cry, whatever you feel like!
Thanks, Kate 💜💜

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"I can't", Street said with a broken whisper, moving himself from the kitchen island, around Chris to the hallway.

Chris was still in shock, and taken aback by Street's unexpected reaction to her being there.

Had he really felt that way, this whole time, about their situation.
Chris knew that the time for them to find a solution to their predicament had been dragging on, but she thought he understood that it was going to take longer than just a quick, "okay let's do this" from the both of them.

There's so much on the line for both of their careers...their friendship.

Chris' heard Street open the door handle to his bedroom, and it cleared the hazy fog that had clouded her ability to even form a word a few moments earlier.

"Street, wait", Chris called before he could lock himself away, and pushed herself away from the countertop.

She hurried herself over to him, Street stood with one hand on the door handle, his shoulder leant against the door.

His face came into view now, his stare blank and tired, his chest heaved a heavy sigh.

"I'm tired, Chris. Can we just be done with this tonight?", his voice shaky.

Chris' eyebrows scrunched together in frustration and sadness. She couldn't leave him like that.

"Look Street, I am so sorry that all of this is happening to you right now. And I'm truly sorry if part of that has been caused by me and our situation which I know hasn't been the easiest for us...", Chris began to ramble, all her thoughts and emotions jumbled together attempting to form coherent sentences.

Streets face still blank, those tired, sullen eyes pushing Chris to say or do just about anything to make him feel better that he did in this moment. He never deserved any of this.

"And I understand why you said what you did, and it stunned me for a moment because it's the truth and you have every right to say it", Chris continued.

"I have been distant, when my brain goes into overdrive my own body seems to shut down and it just needs its own space, which I realise right now is the exact opposite of what you need, especially from me", she explained.

"That's how it's always been with you, Chris. You try to take everything on your own shoulders, and you let no one get even remotely close to help you. I'm not sure why I thought maybe this time could be different", Street interrupts with a sudden burst of what little energy he had left and attempted to move further into his room away from her.

Chris steps forward, grabbing the door with one hand to stop it from closing further, her other hand reaches out to grab his sleeve.

"Please Street, let me finish?", she asked.

Street's eyes lowered down to where Chris was now holding his forearm.

When he lifted his eyes back to hers, he could see the tears forming.

"I know I've said this to you before, but, all I've known for a very long time is an unwavering feeling of having to keep what little I have and any change that could potentially damage that, was not worth it", a few tears now escaping down her cheek.

Street then began to shake his head again, "so what you're saying is that I'm not worth it?" he scoffs, pulling his arm from her touch.

"No, no, that's not... Street, please. What I'm trying to say is..", Chris' lip quivered, her mind still reeling a million miles a second, and Street trying to withdraw from her feeling like another hole in her heart.

"This...", Chris gestured between the two of them. "Us. You are undoubtedly the best thing that's ever happened to me", she shakily exhales.

"I'm afraid to give in, to show you all of me, in the... the chance that it doesn't work out...and then our lives are forever changed Street, good or bad, and it's a big leap for both of us to just take so blindly".

Street's pained face stared back at her, "just tell me then that you don't want to do this, just give me something straightforward for once", he pleaded, his eyes finding the floor again, all strength long gone, wanting his heartache to disappear.

Chris inhaled and wiped the tears that had most recently fallen on her cheeks with the back of her hand.

She stepped forward to reach out, her hands gently meeting each side of his face to lift his face back to see her own. He reluctantly let her touch him again, Chris' eyes searching his for a moment, making sure he was truly looking at her and keeping her gaze.

"Street, when I went to see your Mom at the hospital, you know what the last thing she said to me was?"

Street shook his head within her hands, his jaw bracing, the mention of his Mom bringing back the current pain to have taken a toll on his heart.

"She said to me...that I must really love her Jimmy", Chris told him.

His eyes widened at her words, fully locked onto her, trying to understand why she was telling him this.

"And it scared me, Street. It really did. because.. of all the manipulative shit your mother had said to you in your life..." she began, closing the gap between the two, their foreheads now resting against each other.

"From that one little conversation I had with her. She saw straight through me. She was right. I do. I really do."

Street's eyes closed at her confession. A single tear escaping down his own cheek.

Chris wiped her thumb across Street's cheek to clear it, and his eyes fluttered open again.

"Again, I'm sorry", Chris apologised, leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Hoping somehow it could help them move forward.

Pulling away from his face again, lowering her hands, turning her body back toward the hallway she added, "I can leave you alone now, if you want. I just...I've needed to tell you that for a while now. I'm sorry it wasn't sooner and that it was under these circumstances".

A huge weight felt lifted from Chris' chest, her biggest secret out in the open between them.

"I, uh...." Street started but was interrupted with the sound of the front door handle being unlocked, the both of them turning to watch from the doorway for a moment.

Luca was home.

Chris brought her eyes back to Street's. Their moment coming to an end. The sadness both evident in their stare.

Chris wiped her tears as best she could.

Back to reality.

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Okay people, that was my little bit about the 5x04 ending and me hoping they utilise that line Karen said to Chris at the hospital at some point!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
Don't forget to vote and comment!! 🔥💜
- Kate