"Don't act like I'm average."

"Around Me"

Kentrell deSean, Gaulden.

"There is nobody better than you"

"It took me a while 'til I knew"

"But you knew from the start it was us, didn't you?"

"There is some kind of burning inside me"

"it's kept me from falling apart"

"And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart"

"But it's kept me from falling apart"

Oh brent...

You really ruined everything. After all I did, after all you did, after all WE did together. You just throw it all away? Like that? Did this mean nothing to you? Brent...

It's been a total of 5 months since Brent ghosted me.

I thought this would last. Stupid wasn't it? Big waste of time.

Not once did he try to reach out to me, It was all a big game to him.

Nights passed, strolling through my missed calls, hoping I'll see his name pop up.

Refreshing my I-messages to see if he had read my text messages or not.

I was out of my mind to think that he loved me.

I sighed as I closed my closet door. All of this brent talk is making me lose my mind again.

I'm supposed to be going to the studio for my new album anyways. Who cares about brent..

-

"Damn, so it went down like that?" Brent's friend asked me. The one who set us up is now shocked that we don't even talk anymore. Nothing like the movies, worse.

"Yeah.." I cringed as I looked around avoiding eye contact.

"Sorry to hear that bro. But I have to go do something real quick." He smiled as he got out of his chair and walked out of the studio.

"Ight.."

Brent Faiyaz.

"Where is he?" I sighed.

I've been wandering around this studio for like 30 minutes.

I began to scroll through old texts from me and him to see if he had told me his studio room number.

"Yeah, it's 672."

Finally, damn.

I walked towards the room with the number 672. Slowly opening the door I palmed my face once I got in. I was ready to fight with him. No seriously, this shouldn't take too long. Wasting my studio time. "Bro why weren't you answering your phone! I've been walking down these halls for hour-"

There he was. Kentrell. Not my friend. But my past lover. Sitting in a chair, blunt in his hand, on his phone. He looks so different.

"What do you mean? My phone isn't on, do not disturb, and you didn't call..." He looked up from his phone and froze, cutting himself off. His lip shivered as the silence grew louder. We both knew why it was shocking to see each other. He looked as if he was about to cry, like he was about to have a full on breakdown. His breath started to get heavier, so did mine. My heart raced as we just stood there in silence.

...

"Brent..?"

I stood there and with no response. I remember his sweet face, those eyes, lips, hell even those tattoos. But I knew better. I can't hurt him again. I'm the problem, I cause trouble. I thought I could be better for you, Kentrell.

Better for us.. But I've failed.

"S-sorry.." I mumbled, looking down to the ground before I ran out of the studio.

As I'm running towards the exit, I pat myself down to find my keys. Heart racing as I'm basically digging through different pockets.

Snatching my keys from my right pocket, I sighed... Running from my problems again..

I've fucked up again. I can never do anything right. I won't hurt you again, kentrell.

"I won't.." I mumbled letting a tear fall from my cheek before quickly wiping it away.

I approached my car and unlocked it, placing my hand on the handle. Again Brent, you're running away from your problems. Once again, you never fail to fuck up in life. You fucking failure.

...

"Wait!" I heard someone cry out.

Turning around quickly, I recognized kentrell. He caught my attention. A straight facial expression appeared on my face as I focused my attention on him.

"Why?"

"Why what?" I sucked my teeth, looking around to avoid eye contact.

He walked towards me with a slight frown on his face. He looked as if he was about to break. I broke him.. I'm the one who caused this.

He's now inches away from my face, not close but close enough to have his shoes touch mine.

"Why did you leave?.."

"After all we've been through you just ghost me?"

"I thought you cared brent."

"I was fucking stupid for that." He let out a small chuckle.

I stood there, silent.

"Hello?.. Nothing? Look Brent, I'm not going to waste my time on a mf as low as you... Bye I guess." He started to walk away.. I can stop this..

Say something..

"Look.." I grabbed his wrist.

Kentrell looked back once felt my touch..

"I left because I wasn't good enough.."

"I broke you because that's the only thing I know in relationships. It's best you know that I don't want you waiting for me. As much as I love you, I don't want to cause any problems for you. The first time I met you, I felt as if my whole world just got remodeled. It turned to this beautiful, sweet, loving world. Before you I was.. I was a piece of shit. I would get in and out of relationships, I only cared about myself. But when I met you I finally felt what real love was. Not just that 8th grade crush love, it's that I want to take care of you and live till we old and shit love.."

That felt nice to get off my chest.

"You deserve someone better than me... I love you kentrell.. Bye.." I sighed and opened my car door.

"Wait.."

Kentrell paused and looked around, sucking his teeth and rolling his eyes.

"Maybe we could fix this.."

"Meet me at the coffee shop tomorrow."

AN: I want to apologize because I haven't updated since july knowing it's october now. Writers block or something? I don't know. I write early in the morning at 5, IF I feel like it.

And go vote.