Coffee Shop Napkins ~ Scarlett Johansson

Fairtrade

Y/N POV

"Y/N?" I hear her voice call when I don't answer.

"Yeah?" I respond.

"You don't have to talk about her if you don't want to." She whispers and goosebumps raise onto my skin at the raspy tone.

"She um. Her name was Maggie. I love her a lot. She...died. When we were young." I explain and she shifts, rising up onto her elbow to look at me. I avoid her gaze and stare up at the ceiling instead.

"What happened?" She whispers and I sigh.

"Scar...I don't." I take a few quick breaths and she shifts to rest her hand delicately on my cheek.

"Hey hey...look at me...it's okay. I'm here." She whispers and I take comfort in the eye contact that usually makes me nervous. My heart calms down and I feel safer just looking at her.

"I...I lost her." I whisper as my bottom lip quivers and she frowns as her thumb rubs against my cheek.

"You didn't. She's right here." She whispers and shifts to rest her other hand over my heart.

"It's my fault." I whisper and she frowns. "I. I was rushing and. I wasn't paying attention." I start and her attention never falters.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here. It's okay." She soothes me and shifts to cuddle into my neck and chest. I hug her close, not wanting the comfort to go away. Once my breathing slows down I take a few deep breaths so I can continue. I know if I don't explain she'll ask again and I don't feel like reliving it over and over again.

"I um. I was running late to a game. I played all summer to prepare for the fall soccer league because I knew it was important. I had just gotten my license and wanted to drive there but I had to pick up Maggie from dance. So I was running late and it was a big game. There were college scouts coming to watch me so I was nervous and if I was late it wouldn't look good. My mom was in treatment and I really needed a scholarship. I just. I was rushing." I explain in monotone so I don't have to feel the guilt anymore.

"She was only 14. I pulled out without checking both ways and the truck hit the passenger side. She died instantly. When I woke up all I saw was her lifeless body. Her blood all over my soccer uniform. It was my fault. It's all my fault." I explain and close my eyes when I feel her shift. I don't want her to make me feel better. I shouldn't feel better about it.

"Y/N...it was an accident. It wasn't your fault." She whispers.

"I killed my little sister." I push out before breaking down, sobs wracking my body that I can't control. I don't know how long she held me but eventually I passed out from exhaustion.

When I wake up I don't feel the weight of her body on mine and I sigh. Great. I scared her away. I deserve it though. I rub at my eyes and sit up slowly. I smile at the blanket that was draped over my body and jump slightly when a voice calls out. "Morning, sleepyhead." Her rasp makes me shiver and I look over to see her in my kitchen making something that smells good.

I quirk an eyebrow as my eyes scan her body, "Are those my clothes?" I ask and she looks over to me. She's wearing some of my sweatpants and a hoodie.

"Uh, yeah. I couldn't sleep in jeans." She explains and I nod. "I'm making pancakes." She tells me as her focus drops back onto the stove.

I realize that our night ended with me fully breaking down and blush at the thought. "I'm sorry. For last night." I start as I stand up to join her. I lean against the counter and watch as she plates a few pancakes.

"No need to apologize at all. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share with me and I'm here if you need to talk about it again." She replies, turning to give me her attention.