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Kwazii, threatening Tweak with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!
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Shellington: Kwazii did it again.
Tweak: Hurt everyone including himself?
Shellington: No -
Tweak: Attempted to make a volcano erupt?
Shellington: NO HE CRASHED THE GUP B AGAIN BUT WHAT THE FU -
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Tweak, pointing at Kwazii's black clothes: Who's funeral is it?
Kwazii, looking around the room: Haven't decided yet.
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Tweak: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Kwazii: That's why I carry 2 swords.
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Tweak: What time is it?
Captain: I don't know; pass me my accordion and we'll find out
Captain: *Plays accordion loudly and extremely out of tune*
Kwazii: WHO THE HECK IS PLAYING THE ACCORDION AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Captain: It's 2 am
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Captain: Tell your dad about the fish
Tweak: They're disappearing at an alarming rate
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Tweak: Hey Peso?
Peso: Yes?
Tweak: Can a person breath inside a washing machine when it's on?
Peso:
Peso: Where's Kwazii?
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Kwazii: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Captain: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Kwazii: Yes!
Captain: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
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Kwazii: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Captain: You're a hazard to society
Tweak: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
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Captain: Why are Kwazii and Tweak sitting with their backs to each other?
Peso: They had a fight.
Captain: Then why are they holding hands?
Peso: They get sad when they fight.
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Peso: Where are Kwazii, Tweak, and Shellington?
Captain: They're playing hide and seek.
Peso: Where?
Captain: I don't think you get how this game works.
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Shellington: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Kwazii will and will not eat.
Tweak: Grass? Yes!
Shellington: Moss? Yes!!
Tweak: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Shellington: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Tweak: Worms? Sometimes!
Shellington: Rocks? Usually not.
Tweak: Sticks? Usually!
Shellington: Tunip's cooking? Inconclusive!
Peso: How did you... test this?
Shellington: You just hand him stuff and say 'eat this' and if he eats it, he eats it.
Peso: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
Captain: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SHOELACES WENT?!?!
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Octonauts Oneshots
FanfictionA bunch of oneshots I come up with about Octonauts. Also any incorrect quotes and stuff. I love Octonauts way too much don't judge.