Broken and Gone ( A Newtmas Fanfic)

Chapter 17

Thomas didn't know how to feel, happy, confused, excited. Newt had kissed him. Was he dreaming? No, he could still smell the scent of lemon shampoo inches from his face, those blue eyes meeting his seeming to dig into his soul, penetrate and make glow. His lips had been so soft and warm, and Thomas found himself wishing it had lasted longer. But then the hurt and regret on Newt's face when he pulled away, he had rushed out of the tent before Thomas was able to speak.

He made his way toward Newt's place but stopped, turned doubt filling his mind. Newt obviously didn't want to see him, and he had a feeling that barging into his tent and demanding answers wouldn't make it all unicorns and rainbows. Instead, he headed toward the people who knew and loved Newt almost as much as he did.

He spotted Lizzy first deep in conversation with her girlfriend, and with a quick look and short talk had her swiftly following him to Minho's tent. Lizzy was about to walk in when he stopped her. He stood close to the tent flaps, close enough that his nose was seconds away from touching. Then he made a big scene by shouting quite loudly into the tent.

"Minho! You decent."

Lizzy snorted behind him, and Thomas turned back to give her an amused smile. When he turned Minho stood at the entrance. His expression was grumpy, and his hair was messy, and his lips were swollen.

"What Thomas, what could possibly so important."

Thomas looked down at his feet,

"Sorry Min, I just really need to talk to you two, I can go-"

The other boy sighed rubbing his left eye,

"No, no its fine give me a minute."

He disappeared back into the tent for the next few minutes, then came out with a fresh T-shirt on and his hair fixed up. Thomas tried not to smirk at his still puffy top and bottom lip, but instead filled his thoughts with how to explain the situation to the two. When they reached the grassy hill he and Newt had sat on. Was it just a day ago? It felt like eternity to him, back before things had seemed so complicated.

Lizzy and Minho sat next to him expectantly when he finally burst out.

"Newt kissed me!!!"

Lizzy was beaming and she hugged Thomas tight,

"I'm so happy for you two, wow I... ooo he made the first move, right? Yes!! Harriet owes me 20 bucks !!"

Minho clapped him on the back,

"Congrats man."

Thomas shook his head,

"Wait you guys don't understand... Liz please wait"

Lizzy pulled away a confused look on her face,

Thomas started to explain the situation to them and slowly the mood of the conversation started to turn,

"Do you want me to go talk to him?" Lizzy started "I could-"

"No" Thomas replied firmly "I need to talk to him myself; I just wanted your advice and maybe get your permission to date your brother which I'm pretty sure you signed up for a while ago."

Lizzy smiled at him

"Go get your man T"

Minho stood up pulling Thomas with him, he smoothed back his hair and started walking down the hill. He turned back to face him,

"C'mon you have to go talk to him or are you not the shuckface I know"

Thomas rolled his eyes but was having trouble hiding his smile, his friends now his family would never leave him he knew that now. Whatever happened with Newt he vowed that he would never shut down again, never go into that depressive state for as long as he lived, he would fight for his family. When Lizzy stood up Thomas followed, he and before walking off gave her delicate brotherly kiss on the cheek which made her smile before walking down the hill to meet her soulmate at the bottom, kissing her passionately on the mouth. As Thomas went to walk down a feeling of glee filled him, he was finally ready. Ready to face the world head on again to face Newt.

The crisp air mixed with the sweet scent of dinner cooking drifted to Thomas's nose as he walked down the hill. Mm the smell of soup and apple pie for dessert. Thomas had never spent time in the glade during Thanksgiving but with the fall nearing Frypan had announced he was making special things for that special occasion. He had told Thomas of how he spent it before the days of W.C.K.D and the wonderful smells, the way the food made people feel and how that's how he decided that's what he wanted to do with his life. His pace started to quicken as he made his way to Newt's tent, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he reached the entrance. 

(A/n to all my dirty minded people no not that tent)

 He took a deep breath and walked inside.

The sight of him made him want to cry. The boy lay in his bed a book open on his lap and a stray tear trickling its was down his jaw. He didn't know what to do, should he hug him? Talk to him? Kiss him? Probably not the last one, he didn't want to scare the poor boy. He walked up quietly to the side of the bed.

"Newt?" He said his voice barley a whisper, "Newt please listen"

Newt lifted his head still not meeting Thomas's eyes, he murmured something under his breath, he leaned in closer,

"What?" Thomas asked gently,

"I'm sorry!" Newt shouted breaking the quiet "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!! Sorry that I always ruin everything!!"

His tears were now falling in bucketloads, Thomas reached over to grab his hand, but Newt flinched away.

"You don't have to pretend," He said "You don't have to do this for me, I know that's what you're doing trying to make me feel better, but you know what-"

He sniffled and wiped his eyes,

"You know what I'm just a burden, a disease, an unwanted object to be thrown away. And... And it would have been better if I had just died when I jumped off those bloody walls!!!"

Thomas sucked in a breath and his eyes started to water,

"Newt that's not true!!! You're the best!!! Don't say stuff like that your perfe-"

"No!" Newt yelled "Can you stop pretending that you care about me for one bloody minute, stop pretending that I mean something to this world. You and everyone else would be better off without me so stop pretending!"

"I'm not faking" Thomas yelled back, "Newt I love you!!!!" 

—————————————————————————————————————————— 

Hello!!

Sorry about the late update and the cliffhanger but what did you think otherwise?

Question: What should happen next chapter? ( I like to see peoples predictions)

BTW I've started brainstorming a new book idea (also Newtmas) and I'm hoping to start writing it officially after I finish this one (and there may or may not be a sneak preview at the end of this book along with some other extras that have made up this book)

Have a great Day/ Night!!!