King of Hearts (A Steve Rogers x Reader Fic)

Chapter Sixteen

"Just say it how you need to, I'll put it together." YN nodded, glancing at Sam gratefully.

"You're going to hate me." She whispered, pressing her nails harshly into her palms.

"I won't, YN. I promise." Sam replied, heart constricting at the sight of his best friend battling her feelings.

"I resent you for what happened to Riley." She finally cried, her emotions finally taking hold of her heart and making her sob erratically. "I'm sorry, I don't want to. I don't want to feel this way. I know it wasn't your fault, but my heart just makes me want to hurt you the way I hurt. I- I'm sorry." She sobbed, not risking another look to the man up the hall as she heard him choke on his own emotions. "You just got to spend so much time with him, leading up to... And I know seeing him die was traumatic, and there was nothing you could do. But all I can picture in my dreams is you being there, and watching it helplessly. I can't get past it, Sam. I don't want to feel like this anymore." YN wailed, burying her head in her arms.

"You blame me?" Sam whispered, wide eyes leaking tears when YN looked over, the sight making her cry even harder. "You've always blamed me for Riley's death?" YN looked down, lip wobbling from trying to keep in her emotion. "YN, do you blame me for what happened?" YN didn't answer, not knowing whether what he was saying was right or not. It seemed to be enough for Sam, as YN heard him suck in a breath, releasing a thick sob quickly after. "Okay then." He whispered, standing up and walking down the hall.

"Sam. Please, I'm sorry." YN sobbed, quickly standing to her feet. "I can't help it. I've tried so hard to not feel this way." Sam scoffed, continuing to walk toward their room. YN cried out, falling back to her knees, putting her face in her hands as she broke down.

Sam pushed the door open roughly, entering into the room of people. Thick tears were rolling down his face as he grabbed his bag.

"Sam, what are you doing?" Steve asked, approaching the man slowly.

"I need to leave." Steve and Bucky shared a look, one that Sam caught.

"You knew, didn't you?" Sam asked, as he stuffed his gun and hoodie into the ruck sack. "You both knew and you didn't bother to tell me I was making a fool out of myself? Going out of my way to make sure she was okay, while the whole time she hated me?" Steve shook his head rapidly.

"Sam, I only found out last night. And YN does not hate you." Sam scoffed, wiping his face quickly.

"That's not what she told me." He whispered, looking to Bucky quickly before taking as breath. "I'm going to find another motel and cool off. I've got my burner phone." Everyone nodded, watching Sam leave the room.

"I'm going to go check on YN." Steve said quietly, following Sam out the door. Looking both ways, Steve used his enhanced hearing to pick up on YN's whereabouts. Hearing thick sobs and small whimpers, Steve closed his eyes. Moving down the hall, he found YN tucked in a tight ball, rocking her body back and forth. "Hey, hey. It's okay." Steve said, bending his knees to squat in front of her.

"He hates me, Steve." She cried, not releasing from the grip on her knees. "He hates me, and now I've lost him too." Steve shook his head, gently forcing her fingernails from where they were drawing blood on her palm. "How am I- How do I- I can't live without Sam. He's my best friend. I just lost my mom I can't lose him too." YN wailed, tears flying down her face.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Steve grabbed YN's shoulders, pulling her into his chest. The action made YN cry harder, her whole body shaking violently. "You need to take a deep breath, YN." YN screwed her eyes shut, wrapping her arms around Steve's small waist tightly. "Come on, in and out."

YN finally started to breathe normally after another five minutes, sucking in air and blowing it out slowly. "Did he leave?" She whispered, not releasing her hold on Steve. The nod Steve gave made her heart tighten, the lump in her throat threatening another sob to force itself out. "That was the hardest thing I have ever done." YN commented a few minutes later, her body still in Steve's arms.

"I know, YN. But it's better he knows." YN nodded, leaning back and looking into Steve's eyes, flicking between his blue depths. "How are you feeling now?" YN nodded, leaning forward to trace Steve's lips with her finger.

"You are stunning." YN whispered, biting her lip at their closeness. Steve smiled, shaking his head.

"YN, how are you feeling?" YN looked back up to Steve's eyes, running her tongue over her teeth momentarily.

"Sad... I hate that I had to do that but I'm also relieved." She responded, gasping when Steve ran a hand down her spine. "Also a little horny now." She added after a moment.

Steve reeled back, eyes widening slowly. The look made YN break, a smile widening on her lips. Rolling his eyes, Steve poked her ribcage gently. "You can't be serious for one second, can you?" YN shook her head, biting her lip, looking back down to Steve's lips, grabbing the bottom one with her thumb, pulling it down and letting it pop back into place. "Kiss me." Steve whispered, looking into YN's eyes as she smirked.

"Always making me do the hard work, aren't ya Rogers?" Steve rolled his eyes, looking down.

"Just making sure you actually want this, not just as a distraction from what just happened." YN bit back a smile, surging forward and connecting their lips, the force of it making Steve grunt and lean back. YN climbed onto Steve's lap, wrapping her arms and legs around him, Steve's arms winding around her small body with a moan. The kiss was spectacular, tingles crawled up YN's spine, goosebumps rising along her arms and her heart sped up dramatically.

Leaning back to breathe, YN chuckled. "Definitely want this." She whispered, moving back into to place a lingering kiss on Steve's lips. "But it's also a wonderful distraction." Steve laughed, burying his face in her hair.

"Glad to be of service."