Regulus Black incorrect quotes and one shots (including other characters)

"He pushed me down the f*cking stairs"

It's a Slug Club party and groups of students are milling around, bored. Horus Slughorn fiddles with the ribbon of the box of crystalized pineapple from one of his old students. He worries that one of his most high profile guests, one of the Crown Jewels of his collection, is not coming.
There is a loud bang at the door and Slughorn sighs dramatically with relief and flings open the door.

Regulus: Sorry I'm late, Professor, I was... doing things
Just as he is about to reply that it is , 'Fine, dear boy, absolutely fine.' The door bangs open without invitation.
Snape: He pushed me down the f*cking stairs!
Regulus smirks widely, his resemblance to Sirius, undeniable.
Regulus: 'Push' is such a strong word..I prefer to call it 'Uh giving you a little nudge'
Snape *furious* : Oh I'll you 'a little nudge when I shove my foot up your *rse!
Regulus and Snape stare each other down, Black, still smirking and Severus, still furious.
Slughorn *chortling* : Boys, boys! I'll forget about this little incident if you do, wouldn't want to lose any house points, now do we?
Slughorn winks.
Regulus *bowing elegantly* : Of course, Professor."
Slughorn beams and Regulus offers his hand to Snape, grinning. Snape glares at him and grudgingly shakes the young lord's hand as the professor looks on.
***
James *approaching Regulus* : That was brilliant!..for a Slytherin. Snivelly's face!
Regulus *smiling tightly* : ....thanks?