Identifying Sara

Chapter Thirty-One

No, I wouldn't call myself happy. But when have I ever been happy?

I sit up quickly when theres a knock on the door. My father peeks in from behind the door. "Can I come in?" He asks. I nod and he walks in looking around at the room nodding again. "You got the room together, it looks nice." He slowly walks over to my desk and sits himself in the chair, turning it to face me and folding his hands over his stomach. His expression looks blank, yet serious which makes it seem like a bad time to bring up any questions that I have. All I have ever really wanted to do was sit down and just ask my father questions, figure out why everything happened the way it did, but something is always getting in the way and it seems like if I don't say something quickly, he will.

"Can I ask some questions?" I say fast and sudden he probably had a hard time understanding what I just said because I barely know what came out of my mouth. He looks at me with both brows raised. "What kinds of questions?"

I shrug, "about me, you, mom everything around that." I don't exactly know how to categorize those kinds of questions if that is what he was asking but I know I won't be asking anything tonight when he shakes his head slowly.

"About that," he takes a deep breathe and takes a moment for himself before speaking again. "remember I was on the phone earlier?" I nod, remembering the expression on his face when he was talking into the phone with an angered tone to his voice. "Well I was on the phone with some of my friends with higher positions in the government." Whatever he is trying to say is taking him a long time to spit out because he does't continue until I nod my head telling him to go on. "Well, how do I put this?" I groan in annoyance, "Dad just say it already!" There I go with the dad thing again. His expression turns into a happier, softer one when I say it, but he snaps out of it and continues. "Right. Anyway, your mother and Alan are being deported back to the United Kingdom." I gasp. Alan. My mother. Danger.

He puts his finger to his chin like he is thinking really hard about what he is going to say next. "And that boy you like, what was his name? Carlos? Cameron-" I roll my eyes, "Carson, dad. It's Carson." He snaps and points his finger at me, "Ah! That's it! Anyway, his father is Alan as you already know, and that kid is still only 17, so they're sending him here for a few days until the final desicions are made and then I don't know what will happen to him." My heart skips a million beats. Carson is coming to the United Kingdom!

"Will I be able to see him?" I ask holding onto the little bit of hope and possibilty that we may be able to talk things out. Carson could stay with us until he goes to college, or if he doesn't go to college then we could be together until we're ready to go out and live on our own. I imagine living in an apartment with Carson in the heart of London.

My dad nods mulitiple times, "of course, of course. Your mother and Alan though," he gives me a look that tells it all. It doesn't look like I'll be seeing much of my mother which is fine by me, so far my mother has done nothing to help my life in any way so not seeing her ever again settles just fine with me, but it's Carson I want to see. I want to stay awake all night talking to him, talking through things and discuss things we don't understand about eachother or about the whole situation. My dad stands, probably going to get dinner or something, but before he leaves, I ask another question. "When will they be coming?"

My father sighs and runs a hand over the stuble that has grown on his face. "They aren't all coming together. Since Alan and Amelia are under arrest they will be coming a day after Carson is expected to fly in. Carson should be coming late tomorrow night, and Alan and Amelia the afternoon of the day after." I nod. My father begins to speak again looking a little stressed when he says: "And, I'm sorry about what I said about your little friend the other day. I was just a little angry. It's hard to have your daughter taken away for so long and suddenly when she finally comes back, she's almost all grown up, not even needing a parent anymore. It just scared me a little to think you'll be leaving soon anyway."

I look down and fumble with my fingers. What he said is sort of true, from what I heard I left at an early age, and suddenly eight years later I'm coming back two years away from being a legal adult. But the way I've been damaged mentally, I think I'll be needing my father for a lot longer than just two years. I get up and rush over to my father throwing my arms around my father. It's crazy how just a week ago, if I was told I was going to suddenly meet my father after so long I don't think I would've believed it. But anything can happen with a snap of the finger, that it takes so much to even believe it.

I let go of my father shortly after, I am still a little damaged and some things are going to take longer to heal, this being one of them. It's going to take some time to adjust and realizing that I have more family, more truthful then the last. My father pats my shoulder turning to leave. When he's at the door something creeps into my mind that has to be said. Yet another question.

"Wait!" I say to my father who turns around with a raised brow. "Is there any way," I look down at my feet feeling my cheeks turn a little pink. "Is there any way we could be the ones to pick Carson up from the airport?" I suddenly feel stupid. What if he's not even coming from the airport? What if I'm not allowed to see him immediately for some odd reason? I look at my father and see his smiling face. No frowns, no look of disappointment, guilt, or anger.

Instead he says, "I think we can make that work." Then he winks at me before closing the door behind him, leaving me overly excited and ready to open the window and scream as loud as I can for finally, finally feeling better then I have been feeling in a while.

Okay so it's like 1:00 in the morning at the moment but I can't sleep... i had way too much soda... I only slept for about 3 hours and then I woke
up because it was as hot as the equator in my hotel room, and I got up and cranked the AC very high and now it's all good but I can't sleep... oh well, MORE WRITING TIME :) Oh and I haven't updated since I left for Chicago, but I am in chicago! I went to the Navy Pier yesterday and saw the ferris wheel that was in divergent and let me just say... omg... i was so stunned that i couldn't even cry or scream or like omg. Anyone who knows me personally knows that Divergent is my life... MY LIFE! Anyway, now idk what to do with my life because it's 1 AM... lol not like i have a life or anything.. okay, anyway.. have a fab day/night

BYEEE