And how her genuine smile whenever she's overflowing with happiness never failed to take my breath away.
So yes, I learned a few things about Eleanor in the span of a few months of knowing her. And everything leads to her being an amazing woman.
"Are you mocking me?" Napakunot ang noo ko. Napailing naman si Eleanor habang nakangiti ng mapanloko. Halos matigilan na naman ako nang maramdaman ko ang pagyakap niya sa balikat ko, pulling me closer.
Kilabutan ako sa ginawa niya. Is she seducing me? Sht!
She laughed upon feeling my discomfort. Our position was very compromising.
"Eleanor." Pagtawag ko sa pangalan niya. My tone is a little threatening and serious.
She cocked her head to the side, "What?" Hindi na lang ako umimik.
Maya-maya ay napahikab siya. My mood transitioned into concern almost instantly.
"Do you want to sleep now?" Hindi siya sumagot pero binaon niya ang mukha niya sa dibdib ko. She must be sleepy. Anong oras na ba?
Napabuntong hininga na lang ako. I let her sleep, as if she could sleep with the loud music. Kahit naman mukha kaming tanga ni Eleanor sa posisyon namin ngayon, standing in middle of the dancefloor without even dancing, I knew I would be a hypocrite if I say that I don't like the feeling of holding this woman in my arms.
Hindi ko na lang din pinansin ang weird na tingin ng mga tao. They're probably wondering kung ano ang pinaglalaban naming dalawa. But whatever the hell they are thinking, wala na akong pakealam.
It was very ironic. Nakatayo lang kami dun ni Eleanor, taliwas sa napakalakas na tugtog. My thoughts then wandered to Eleanor's words:
"Naku Chance baby, baka in love ka na sakin ah."
Hindi ko alam pero natigilan ako ng maisip ko iyon. Why am I even thinking about it? Mahalaga ba yon? Alam ko namang nagbibiro lang din si Eleanor ng mga panahong sinabi niya yon. So why am I making a big deal out of it? But the line seemed to linger within me.
Paano kung hindi ko na lang pala namamalayan pero in love na nga ako sa kanya?
Napailing ako at napapikit ng mariin. That's not supposed to happen. That's not likely to happen. That can't happen. Bakit naman ako mai-in love sa kanya? Sure enough, Eleanor is an amazing woman and any guy to have her must be the luckiest man on Earth.
But me falling for Eleanor is another thing.
And maybe I am just overanalyzing things. Maybe ganun lang talaga ka-friendly si Eleanor. Maybe what we have is 'just' friendship minus the kiss.
But what if I really am in love with her?
I didn't know the answer. Maybe I just didn't want to know the answer yet. Kasi alam ko sa sarili kong may nararamdaman ako para sa kanya. Kung anuman iyon, I'm just not sure yet if I should name it or not. And I'm not sure if I am ready to admit anything.
The thought of falling in love again scared me.
Maybe yes, I may date women for as long as I like but I don't want to be in love with them. Lagi na lang pumapalpak ang buhay ko kapag nagmamahal ako. I would always end up with a broken heart. And for now, maybe I could save myself from another heartbreak kung hindi ko na lang paiiralin ang puso ko.
Kinalimutan ko na ang mga naisip ko. I shouldn't dwell with such thoughts. Mas ginugulo ko lang ang sitwasyon. For now, I should just enjoy Eleanor's company. She's been a great help to me. Kung hindi dahil sa kanya, hindi siguro ako makakamove on mula kay Lourd at Monique. Hindi din siguro ako matutong i-appreciate ang mga bagay-bagay.
YOU ARE READING
No Strings Attached
General Fiction[For my beloved Chance Lucas Sandoval] Chance Lucas Sandoval meets Eleanor Kai Gonzales in the most unlikely place, and you can guess that the most unlikely thing happens. He agrees to date other women, as Eleanor has stated, to help him move on wit...
