A Plus In Love

*EVERYBODY'S BACK*

    “So the only reason you married mom was because you got pregnant?” He shook his head again, and his hands suddenly became part of the conversation. 

    “No... we were young and in love. We thought that getting pregnant was a sign that we were meant to be. I knew I didn't want to marry the other women, not really.” He looked at me then. I’d never seen him like this, open, vulnerable. “I told her the truth and she said she never wanted to see me again. I haven’t spoken to her since. How do you know?” I pulled the papers out of my pocket. 

    “Melanie’s pregnant and giving the baby up for adoption. The adoptive parents want all assurances. I had to take a dna test. It came back that I was related to the baby.” He looked at the papers for a long moment. 

    “Do you know this kid?” 

    “Yeah, I do. I go to school with him. His name is Tyler. He’s a real asshole just like his old man.” He nodded at that. I thought once I got here that I’d want to scream at him. But seeing him like this, I’m just sad. “I just wanted to know how deep this went, how twisted you really were. Have a nice life” I turned and stood up. 

    “Wait” Most of me wanted to start walking but I didn't. I just stood there with my back to him. “I am sorry that I have hurt you, Giles. I let my mistakes hurt everyone around me. I just..” 

    “I don’t care.” I walked out of the facility and back to my rental car. I had to decide whether or not to believe him. He wasn’t drunk anymore. He might be telling the truth. But that makes this worse. One decision put us on the path to this very point. One he had made just like me.  

    I drove to the airport with my head full of what if’s and could haves. None of that was going to help me. I needed to think about the future and move forward. I needed to figure out what I wanted. I had a two and half hour plane ride to get started on it. 

    Once I boarded the plane, I put on my earbuds and closed my eyes. Visualization is something Coach has us do in practice. Visualize the plays,  yourself in the game, the win. So now my life.  I graduate high school with Lily and we get accepted at the same college. My first choice college. I will  get my PH.D, Lily graduates with her degree in counseling.  
We get married and have the first of our two children within two years. I land my dream job at a  college in New England.  I’ll live in a beautiful old house with my wife and two kids. 

    My wife. Lily will be my wife. This is the path I chose. The path I choose. We chose,or it was before. We hadn’t talked about it in so long I couldn’t really remember. I knew she wanted to be a counselor.  I assumed that she wanted kids. We both wanted to live a quiet, peaceful life. Even with all the things she and I have been through, I don’t see how that could change the plan too much. 

    I dreamed up our lives until the plane landed. Back the bullshit. I left my phone in my car at the airport. Before I left I couldn’t deal with Melanie calling and texting, my mom asking if I was o.k. for the millionth time. Tyler even started trying to contact me. It was too much. I was feeling the weight of seeing my father and all of that shit was too heavy. After the mess at the airport, I sat in my car for a few minutes in silence. 

    I picked up my phone, of course, texts and missed calls galore. I opened my text messages and the first thing that  popped up was from an unknown number. It was a picture. A legal document of some kind. I had to zoom in and read for a minute before realizing what it was. Lily had signed a domestic partnership agreement with Jackson. Yesterday from the looks of it. What the fuck.  I threw my phone on the floorboard and headed home. 

    All I could think about on the way home was the two of them together. What reason could she have to do this? There was no indication that she was going to leave me last time we talked. I’d only been radio silent for two days. What could have happened in two days? I knew I needed to stay calm and not make assumptions. My chest started to feel compressed. No matter what I thought about or how loud the music was, my chest kept getting tighter. It started getting harder to breathe. I pulled over and grabbed my phone. I tried calling Lily but she didn’t answer. I called my mother but she hadn’t had any contact with Lily or her parents. 

    I drove right to Lily’s house. When I turned on her street I saw her standing on her lawn with a small child on her hip. I pulled into her driveway next to her dad’s car. The child she had was Jackson's sister, Ruby. She did not look necessarily happy to see me. 

    “Where have you been, Giles? I’ve been trying to call you for two days.” She looked more angry at the words she spoke. She did a little hope to scoot Ruby up her side. She was getting a little fussy. The little whiny that Eve does when she is tired sounded almost the same from her. 

    “I was seeing my dad. Why didn’t you just call my mom.?”  I wanted to hold her, but she was still holding Ruby. I didn’t think that she would be very accepting of my touch right at the moment either. 

    “I didn’t call your mom because I didn’t think she needed all my shit added to hers. Besides if something was really wrong I know she would have let me know. Shit went south really fast, Giles. A lot of things happened and I...I just really needed you.”Ruby went from whining to crying. Just a few seconds later,  Jackson came out of the house. For some reason, just seeing his face, set me off. 

    “So he’s second on your roster? I’m first to bat, but if I don’t come through immediately, you move on to second string.” She slapped me across the face, surprisingly hard, considering she was holding a small child. “Lil, I’m”

    “Shut your mouth.” She took a deep breath. “ His mother died two days ago, then they were going to take Ruby away. I didn’t have any time to think. I needed you Giles.” Jackson took his sister and they went into the house. We sat on the steps of the front porch. She let me put my hand on her knee. 

 “I had just gotten released, Laura died. Then this woman came in and said Ruby could be taken. Johnny freaked the fuck out.” She was clenching and unclenching her fists.  “I had to sign legally binding documents, Giles. I haven’t been able to breath for what feels like months.”  Tears threatened to spill over. “I know you have shit going on too, but you could have at least sent a text message.” 

“ I know. I haven’t handled this very well. When I got the test results back from the paternity test, it said I was the kids uncle.” She looked at me wide eyed. “Yeah. Everyone was surprised. Apparently my father was supposed to marry someone else when he met my mom. He never knew she was pregnant. He broke it off before she found out.” She squeezed my hand. “Tyler Haddon is my brother.”

“Of all the boys in town, that jackass is the one?” I nodded “What did he do when he found out?” 

“In true Tyler fashion, he told Melanie he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. I’m not sure what he did after that, but I know he looks high most of the time now.” There was a band on the door. Lily turned around and you could just barely see the top of Ruby’s head in the glass. Jackson opened the door. She tottled out. 

“Hi baby.” She ran to Lily with her arms out. “What time is it?” Lily was looking up at Jackson, standing behind her. 

“Almost one.” Lily moved Ruby to the porch and stood up. 

“It’s time for her to lay down.” Ruby’s little fingers grabbed for Lily. “Ok Ruby Red, let's go for a nap.” I followed her into the house and to the stairs. 

“Where do you think you're going St. Clair?” Jackson had his hand on the banister of the stairs, like he was her protector. 

“What’s it to you, Jackson?” He stepped between me and Lily. Oh no. Lily continued up the stairs. 

“I’m putting Ruby down for a nap, neither one of you are invited.” Then she went into her room and closed the door.