The Broken Beauty

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YOU MUST BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD

- MAHATMA GANDHI

Fear.

Fear is something that might eat you alive. That will consume you every single day if you don't get it under your control. In fact all of you emotions should always be in control. If you let your emotions free, it might consume you and rule you. If your emotions get out of control, then you can never be controlled.

You have to think before you react. Think before you show. Every emotion of yours could be used against you. Whatever might the emotions be. Be it fear, anger, happiness, sadness, desperation, depression, irritation, annoyance, excitement, curiosity, fright or anything. Your emotions might have the power to kill you one day.

We might be the master of our own thoughts, still we are the slaves of our own emotions.

Emotions are dangerous to humans at some point. I was told that it could make a person weak. I've seen it. A minute of pity or fear has the power to take away the person you loved the most. A minute of happiness can take your concentration away from the work you do. Anything could happen if you let the emotions control you.

That's what I was taught by them. I was taught to be emotionless. I was taught not to show fear or pity at any cost. Its been 4 years since I escaped from them. But still unknowingly everything they taught lingers in my mind. They still continue to haunt me. They never stopped. I might have escaped them, but I never escaped from the memories I made. There were beautiful as well as worst memories. But those memories made me who I am now. Those experiences made me into what I am now.

I regret a lot of things I did. But that doesn't mean I'll forget those. I learnt a lot from them. Even though they were bad, they showed me how cruel the world is.

At the same time, I love kids. Many people say that cold hearted people or heartless people hate kids because they find them annoying. But I don't. I love them because they are the proof that there is still innocence left in this world. They are the proof that even though anything bad might happen, good is also present. They are the proof for a lot of things that cannot be explained.

I become happy by seeing them. They show me the childhood I missed. I was forced to grow up too soon. I never had the chance for a childhood or a family. Maybe, just maybe that is why I want to let my walls down when I'm with them and a give them a chance for us to be a happy family. Or maybe it is the fact that I remember how I enjoyed living with them when I was a kid. Either way I feel like I should give them a chance. I feel like they deserve a chance.

So that's what I'm gonna do. Give them a chance. Make them into the happy family they were before I leave. I might not tell them the whole truth. But they deserve to know how much of a shitty mother Claudia was. And that's what I'm gonna do. Tell them a vague summary of my life.

I took a deep breath for the awaiting drama and to meet papa. I opened the door and found everyone's eyes turning to me. I rolled my eyes internally.

Cliche

I looked around the table searching for someone when I found that person staring at me directly. I slowly walked towards him as if he'd disappear if I go too fast. But it seemed like he didn't mind it because he walked towards me fast and hugged me.

I stood frozen not knowing what to do. I slowly recovered and hugged him back showing all the emotions I wanted to show him all these years. After recovering from the hug, he pulled my face to see me clearly. I wiped the tears that spilled from his eyes. But I didn't let my tears fall at all.