Write Or Fight

Day 7

Written by itstilliswhatitis

Dear Louis,

Golden boy? Haha, please, you're the one who's golden. Our fans call you the sun and they couldn't be more correct. You brighten up everyone's day. No wonder you have the most special relationship with your fans than the rest of us (not saying that our fans aren't wonderful too). They absolutely adore you, just like I do. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, I hope you know that?

I miss you too, so much, and I can't wait to see you, but I'm also scared that we will go back to our old ways. I don't wanna fight you anymore but what if we can't help it? What if we're like a broken old record?

Maybe we just have to get away for a while? I miss our time in Jamaica too. Yeah, let's do that again. Just hide away at some tropical island somewhere where no one will recognize us. Let's buy a freaking island and build a dream castle on it. Our escape world. I'm gonna google it right now, after I finish this letter. Any area of the world you would prefer? Hihi. I'm giggling now.

One thing I love about you is your passion for charity work. Jay and you really did some wonderful things together and you have really honored her by continuing. I love how making someone else happy makes you happy. You're such a good man Louis Tomlinson and I love you, love you, love you.

To answer your question, I could always go for a nice avocado. Giggling again. Just kidding, even though I don't understand what you have against avocados. You haven't even tried it! Last meal: chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in parma ham and some mash, made by you of course. That's one of my sweetest memories, when you made that for me for the first time.

My question for the day is also a silly one, which one of my pet names for you are your favorite?
Mine is baby.

Amsterdam huh? Alright. Thanks for the heads up. Pap walk? How long will you be in Amsterdam? I'm glad I don't have a stunt girl now. Hopefully, that's over with now. It's getting old, don't you think?

I'm off to bed. I'm not doing much more than eat, sleep and hang in the studio. Maybe I'll take a day off soon and do something else. Anyhow, sweet dreams from my side of the world.

All the love
Harry

Written by danielpawelthelarry

dear harry,
or should i say Allie since we are making references to that god awful movie you love to make me watch. i still would watch it a million times if you asked me to, just to see that excited look in your eye. i think these letters will be sentimental to us, i'm sure when we get back into things we will still write them, i know i will.

after reading your letter i've been playing 'if i could fly' on repeat, it made me realise just how much we relied on each other to feel safe, to feel at 'home'. i think we've lost that along the way but i still feel the same as i did all those years ago, i just got worse at showing it.

you made me do that stupid thing where i blush with your last letter. sometimes i forget that you're just as attracted to me as i am to you, because for me, i'd give up the world just to be with you till i die. in the words of one of our dearest (and most annoying) friend,

"if the whole world was watching i'd still dance with you"

that stupid leprechaun nailed it dead on. you're all i need harry, like the air that we breathe. i honestly can't imagine there being anyone else for me. honestly, 8 years has flown by but i still remember our first days, the times id watch you in awe from across the room or the times my hands would go sweaty because i was nervous around you.

i don't really know how to explain how much i love you, but there's nothing i don't love about you. everything that you find imperfections i find perfect. every time you get insecure, i wish i could take that all away from you and you could see yourself the way i see you.
you're beautiful inside out. that's what i love about you, it's everything harry.

as for my mental health, i'm sorry if i worried you. please don't come home just for me, write your album, enjoy yourself and come back to me once you've taken a break. i know how to deal with myself, i just thought you should know since we were being open and i was trying to hide it from you for a while now. i'm okay, i just have bad days, and no it's not as bad as when my mum passed. if anything i've got liam on my arse all the time, calling, texting and even paying me unexpected visits to make sure i'm fine.

to answer your question, i think my jealousy is rooted in my own insecurities. i trust you, i really do, i just get angry and helpless when i see you with stunts because i can't do that with you. i cant hold your hand on the street like they can. i also get angry because of management, they always paint you out to be a fucking womaniser and send you on pap walks with so many woman that i've forgotten half of their names. god, you of all people don't deserve that, and i wish i could say something but i cant and that makes me mad.

i know El was hard for you to accept, honestly it was a kick in the teeth for me too. i don't despise the girl but i don't like pretending to be someone im not. i just want to go out with you and show you off to the world as my boyfriend. i think with El, it's easier to accept because it's one constant person whereas with your stunts it's always changing and i feel so insignificant, like you could leave me for one of them, but i trust you and i know it's just me being insecure.

my question for you is:
what's your worst memory you have of us? for me it would probably be the day of our anniversary when we had a concert that night and management yelled at us because we were being cuddly before a show. they told us not to get close on stage and you cried. i held you in my arms minutes before we had to go on stage and it broke my heart. we had to go on stage and pretend that everything was fine but we weren't. that was the day our management broke me.

sorry for ending this on a sad note, i just felt like sharing this with you. i really fucking miss you. these letters make me wish you were in my arms but i feel like the wait will be worth it.
i love you, hope you're having the best time you can love.

yours,
louis