Rhapsody (OBX S2 Book II JJ fan fiction)

SIXTEEN (I)

Songs
Heavenly—Cigarettes after Sex
Only Angel—Harry Styles

Trigger Warning: ED
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**LEXI**

I begin to ramble almost as soon as we get the The Wreck, not bothering to make any sense as I'm too worked up to think before I speak.

"Woah, woah, tell me again. What happened?"

"I-I, JJ, I think Shoupe knows," I stutter out, glancing wildly over to find Pope and Kie outside, Kie stepping into the outdoor shower. "Don't tell them, but I think Shoupe knows."

"Lex, slow down. Knows what? What does he know?"

"You. Nick. What happened that day," I breathe out, my voice shaking a bit as he holds me steady by my arms. "He told me... h-he—"

"—Easy, j-just, take it easy for a second," JJ tells me, leading me to one of the booths to sit in. I'm vaguely aware of Kie's parents watching us as they clean up, but decide they couldn't have gotten much out of anything I've said. "Okay," JJ says, "what do you mean by he knows."

"He told me that there had been some red flags that had come up in Nicks autopsy report. But he let them go 'because of the nature of Nick's job.' But the way he was saying it..."

"He was insinuating that he has reason to believe I did it," JJ finishes for me.

"Or me," I add. "Or any one of our friends. But he knows it wasn't an accident, and I think it was his way of telling us to get off his back about John B."

JJ sighs slowly, "so he's blackmailing us?"

"I-I guess? Or maybe he's telling me that we're safe? I don't know," I exclaim, my voice all high and weird. "It doesn't matter, because I'm not going to let you go to jail."

"Lex... I'm not going to go to jail," JJ tries to assure me. "And even if I do... I don't regret killing him."

The words settle in the space between us so that neither of us speak, serving as a harsh reminder as to what Nick took from us that day. I thought I had lost my innocence the first time I watched my mom try to kill herself, or maybe when I got a boyfriend, or lost my virginity. There was the first time I smoked weed, snorted coke, the first time I ignored the directions on my prescription bottles. The first time I watched my dad hit my brother; the first time he hit me.

All of these things were anything but 'innocent' experiences... but I had been; I stayed innocent until I watched Nick die. Now, we were all guilty, guilty of murder, or assisting in some way. The thought that Nick is the reason why I can no longer say I still have a clean conscious... it hurts almost as much as everything he did to me. Almost.

"Look, in order for Shoupe to pin it on me now, he'd have to open a case? A case he had already closed and deemed an accident."

"If he opens it, we'll know about it, right?"

JJ nods slowly; "and I'd have time to leave."

"We'd," I correct. "We'd have time to leave. I'm not loosing you again."

He gives me a look, and for a second I think he's going to pull the same 'you don't deserve this' bullshit before the guilt in his eyes melts away. "I'm not loosing you either, princess."

I feel his hands in my hair as he tries to comfort me, shifting to get closer. "You know," JJ says after a moment, "Kie's parents have been watching us like a hawk this whole time."