Chapter 12

20 1 0
                                    

    I went home and immediately started packing a suitcase. Dylan was leaving, but I wouldn't be here to watch it. I couldn't. I knew I was being irrational, but it felt too much like losing someone else. Once I had everything packed and loaded in the car, I jumped behind the wheel and headed towards Gulf Shores. It was the closest beach. Mississippi had beaches too, but they were always dirty. Not relaxing at all. I had decided on the drive from the camp house to my house that I would treat myself to a long weekend at the beach. I managed to book a hotel over the phone on my way. Once I had arrived at the hotel and checked in I sent texts to my mom and Andrea telling them that I had decided last minute to have a getaway and clear my head. I had used the excuse of wanting to start the new year with a clear mind and thought I could finally make peace with everything. They had both seemed shocked but supportive.

"Bitch," Andrea huffed when I finally answered my phone, "You haven't answered your phone all damn weekend. What the hell? Also, why would you chose the weekend Dylan was moving to take your vacation? He has way too much shit. Please tell me you're on your way home. I need a spa day your treat for ditching us."

"I'll be home in an hour." I replied, "Call tomorrow and book the appointments and I'll pay for it. Sorry for the bad timing. It was just something I needed to do."

"It's fine. I understand. The last year has been hell on you." Andrea said, her earlier energy seeming to have drained, "Are you feeling better?"

"Much. I am ready to move on with my life. It's a new year and I'm going to make the most out of it." I replied genuinely meaning the words.

"I'm glad. I want you to be happy. By the way, I already booked our appointments yesterday. We have to be there tomorrow at ten." She declared.

"Of course you did." I replied with a laugh, "I'm going to get off of here, but I'll be home in about forty-five minutes. Love you Andrea."

"Love you more Ards." She said before disconnecting the call.

    I tossed my phone over into the seat next to me without looking at it. When I had turned my phone back on to call Andrea, I received twenty voice-mails from Dylan and twice that many text messages. I couldn't look at them. I didn't know what they said nor did I want to. As I pulled into my driveway I noticed Dylan's truck parked in the second spot and Dylan sitting on the front steps.

"Dammit." I grumbled before exiting the car.

    I had been hoping to avoid him.

"Nice trip?" He asked, anger lacing his words.

"Yes it was. Sorry I couldn't help you get moved." I replied avoiding eye contact.

"Bullshit Arden!" He snapped, "You ran and I want to know why."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I had the trip planned for a couple of weeks. It just slipped my mind to mention it." I replied as I stepped around him to open the door.

"Bullshit!" He repeated shouting it this time, "What the fuck is going on? You won't even look at me."

    As he said the last part, he reached out and grabbed my arm spinning me to face him. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him. He had dark circles under his eyes, his facial expression was tense and strained, and his eyes were glossed over with unscheduled tears. Without thinking I reached up and cupped his face with my hand. He snatched his head back.

"No. You don't get to do that. Tell me what is going on? Why did you leave without even saying anything? I was worried about you." He said with his voice thick with emotion.

    My own voice didn't sound much better.

"I couldn't do it. I could be here when you moved out Dylan. I couldn't watch another person leave me." I whispered as tears fell.

"Oh Arden." He mumbled as he wrapped his arms around me, "I'm not leaving you. I would never leave you, but I can't live in your guest room forever. I'm only ten minutes away."

"Why not?" I demanded as sobs wracked my body, "I like having you here. This house is too big for just one person. You could have at least talked to me instead of springing it on me."

"I can't stay here forever because it's too hard, but I am sorry that I sprung it on you." He said.

"Hard how?" I demanded backing up.

"I don't want to get into this with you." He answered.

"Well too bad! I do! I want to know why you're leaving!" I yelled back at him.

"Because I fucking love you!" Dylan screamed before collapsing back against the wall and sliding to the floor, "I love you Arden. I'm pretty sure I've always loved you, and it's killing me. You were with my two best friends. I shouldn't feel this way about you, but I do. I can't keep sleeping under the same roof knowing that I'll never be able to have you. I can't do it. I need to put space between us. Can't you understand?"

"Oh Dylan. Why?" I asked before I sank to the floor too.

"Why what?" He asked.

"Why would you say that? Why would you love me? When?" I rambled.

"I said it because it's the truth. You wanted an answer. I love you because you're you. It's not one thing. It's a million. You're the strongest, kindest, and smartest person I know. As for when, I don't know. I think I probably realized it when you left for Harvard. Watching you build a life with the guys was hard, but I could do it because it made you happy. They loved you so damn much, and I knew that they would never hurt you. It seemed like all I had ever done was hurt you. I just need some space. A little time to sort everything out and then I can go back to being just your friend. I'm going to go home. I uh, I'll call you when I get my head straight. Good night Arden." He said before standing up and walking out of the door.

    Watching him leave felt like watching the last piece of my heart shatter into a million pieces. He hadn't waited for a response from me. He hadn't want one. He just wanted to speak his piece and leave, and he did just that. He didn't call. I waited around for a month before I finally called him. He didn't answer. He didn't answer the next day or the next either. In fact, Dylan didn't answer a single one of my calls for the next month. I gave up after that. I was good at pretending everything was fine. No one ever asked me what had happened between he and I, and for that I was thankful. By the summer the rumor mill had informed me that he was dating a woman from over in Jackson. Matt was the only person who had met her. Andrea had flat out refused. I never told her what had happened between Dylan and I, but somehow she just knew. She always knew what I didn't say. Matt had said that she was pretty and seemed nice. I was happy for him. At least I really wanted to be happy for him.

"Sweetie I was thinking that maybe you would like to get back out there. Try dating again." Mom announced one afternoon while we were shopping.

"I don't know mom." I replied.

"Baby it's been over a year. You have to live your life. I hate seeing you frozen in place like this. Just think about it. Jeff Miller asks about you every time I see him. He's a good guy, and he's pretty good looking." She said with a smile.

"Tell you what, next time he asks give him my number." I replied with a chuckle.

    And she did because Jeff called me three days later to ask me to dinner. He really was a nice guy, and I had a good time. It felt nice to be doing something normal. Dinner with Jeff became a weekly occurrence. I found myself looking forward to date night. Sometimes it was hard because I felt like I was cheating on Trey and Liam, but I'd remind myself that they were gone and they were never coming back. Jeff never rushed me or tried to push me into going faster. He knew I was still broken from the loss. After six months of dating, he gave me a key to his place. He had said that he wasn't rushing me, but he wanted me to know that I had an open invitation to move in whenever I felt ready.

The Unexpected Happily Ever AfterDonde viven las historias. Descúbrelo ahora