A Kiss To Reminisce

Introduction

"Excuse me, may boyfriend ako, Sol! One year na kami!"

"Oh, fuck. Don't call me that!" I said in dismay.

Nagtawanan kaming dalawa. Ilang sandali pa, nagtanong ulit siya.

"So, kaninong breakup 'yung pinakainiyakan mo?" sabi niya kasabay ng pagpatong ng muling magkakrus na braso niya sa lamesa.

Napabuntonghininga ako kasabay ng paghigop ko mula sa iced coffee ko.

"'Yung ex-boyfriend kong umabot ng one year 'yung iniyakan ko nang sobra."

"Ohh! Was that CJ?" she asked.

I nodded. "Minahal ko naman 'yon. Sobra-sobra. Kaso hindi ko matanggap na paulit-ulit akong niloko."

"Because pinapatawad mo always when the only thing that you should've done the first time is break up with him immediately! Hay nako, stressed mo ako!" She rolled her eyes at me.

"Why don't you make me finish, Cali?" I groaned.

"Okay, then. Continue," she said as she sipped from her iced coffee.

I sighed. "I was young, Cali. Duh? I was very young. I was just 16 when he became my boyfriend. Anong alam ko pa? Hindi naman siya ang first boyfriend ko no'n pero that time, pinaikot ko mundo ko sa kan'ya. Then, noong nag-break na kami officially, that's when I was in Grade 11. Final examination week no'n and all I did was review my notes as I broke down and cried. It took me more than a month bago ako natauhan na, ahh, ayaw ko na. Funny lang kasi kung kailan natauhan na ako, saka niya ako binabalikan noon. Of course, hindi na ako babalik sa 'yo, cheater! Natauhan na ako, eh. Tanga ka ba?"

Nagtawanan kaming dalawa dahil alam niya lahat ng pinagdaanan ko noon. Nakakatuwa lang na ngayon, pinagtatawanan na lang naming dalawa dahil naaalala namin.

"At least, nabasag ang helmet! Malapit na kitang patayuan ng rebulto noong mga oras na 'yon, eh," napapailing na sabi niya.

"Tss. May kan'ya-kan'ya tayo ng epiphany, Cali. 'Wag kang magmagaling d'yan at baka mag-break din kayo ng jowa mo!"

"Shut up, we won't!" She rolled her eyes at me. "Anyway, so, sino naman 'yung pinakaminahal mo?"

Every time I was asked about this, isang tao lang palagi ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Muli akong napakagat sa kuko kasabay ng pagtingin sa labas, pinanonood ang mga taong magdaan.

I really thought that his kiss has cured this damn mannerism I have. Fuck.

Ibinaba ko ang kamay na kanina'y nasa bibig bago lumingon kay Cali.

"'Yung pinakaminahal ko . . . 'yung taong hindi ko iniyakan nong naghiwalay kami."

Lalong kumunot ang noo ni Cali sa isinagot ko. "Whaaat???"

I smirked. "You really didn't know anything about love, huh?"

Bahagya siyang humampas sa lamesa habang masama ang titig sa akin. "Sino 'yan? Did you not shed a single tear when you two broke up?" I shook my head. "Why?"

I smiled as I looked down on my fidgeting fingers. "Maybe there was no reason to cry at all."

"Huh?"

Nag-angat ako sa kan'ya ng tingin bago ngumiti. "Naka-move on na kasi ako sa kan'ya bago pa man kami tuluyang maghiwalay."

"What?" Tumawa siya na parang hindi makapaniwala sa mga sinasabi ko. "I don't get the damn point! Paano 'yon?" kunot-noong tanong niya.

Napatingin ako sa labas at muling napaisip. Paano ko ba ipapaliwanag sa bobita kong pinsan 'tong mga nasa isip ko? Bwisit.

"It's like . . ." Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa curious-chismosa-na si Calista. "You're falling out of love pero hindi. Kasi kahit na sabihin kong naka-move on na ako sa kan'ya even before the breakup happened, the love was there. At that time, it's . . . still there. I kept it inside because . . . I want to continue loving him. I don't know. That time, all I know is that the right thing to do is to breakup with him."