Father forgive me; For I have sinned

Chapter 4- Save Tonight

When he showed up at my house at four in the morning, I was shocked. But now standing here in church, with our tongues down each others throats, I was beyond shocked, I was scared. I wasn't scared that he was kissing me. I was scared because I was kissing him back. Why was I kissing him back? A minute ago I wanted to rip his head off. Now I was running my hands through his hair, as he was caressing my thighs. Did he still have this control over me?

"I have to go" I said pulling out of his embrace and running as fast as I could away from him. Hannah and Drew were standing in foyer talking to the pastor. I heard Hannah say something but I didn't I didn't say anything, I needed to get out of there. I had to get away from him. I did not need to get hurt again. I knew I would be the one come out hurt again.

As I walked out to the parking lot, I could hear Drew and Marissa fighting. It was like my brother and me. Nathan and I were twelve years apart, Drew and Marissa were 10 years apart. I remember Nathan and I use to fight like them all the time. We probably took a good five years off of my parents life span.

"Sissy, Drew Drew is being mean" Marissa said running up to me, hugging my legs.

"That's not true" Drew said defending himself.

"You started it" Marissa yelled at Drew.

"I don't care who started it, but if you two don't stop now, we aren't going anywhere" I said forcefully. That seemed to shut them up pretty quickly.

"Now what do you guys what to eat?" I asked as I strapped Marissa in.

"I want Chinese" Drew said as he texted on his phone. I swear that is all that boy does.

"OK how about P.F. Chang's?" I asked as I pulled out of the churches parking lot.

"Yeah that sounds good" Drew said not even looking up at me.

As we sat there, I tried keeping Marissa entertained, and tried to talk to Drew at the same time. Drew was being a normal teenager and giving me two word answers.

"So hows school?" I asked as I colored with Marissa.

"Schools good"

"That's good, so when does hockey start?"

he shrugged his shoulders "I don't know, some time in the spring"

I sat there trying to find more to talk about with him. I remember when I was his age. I acted the same way, except I was doing something year around. I had cheerleading in the fall and winter, then when spring came I was usually doing something to help the hockey team, since my brother was the assistant coach.

"How come you didn't tell me you knew Darren Helm?" He asked playing with his chop sticks.

I breathed in. I knew Darren was Drew's favorite player, but I really wanted to forget that whole night, and I knew I couldn't tell anybody anything.

"I don't know, I guess I forgot"

"How could you forget? Ive liked him when he was in the world juniors. You know when you actually liked hockey. If I remember right, you used to like him" he said accusing me. He was right, I used to be obsessed with the game. My life revolved around the Wings schedule. But After that night, I lost all interest, all respect for hockey players, and no one had any idea why.

"What happened to you" he asked.

What was I going to tell him?

"I just grew out of it" I said taking a sip of my tea.

"No, I mean,what happened to cool at Bek?" he asked.

"What do you mean, I'm always cool at Bek" I said. I was kind of offended. I may be older than him, but twenty one is still really young.