After The Truth

Hardin Chapter 44

She walks into the living room and sits on the couch, she tucks her knees to her chest. I sit next to her but keep some distance between us.

"I..........I scare you?" I question.

She picks at her scab that's formed over her ripped flesh from before.

"Only when you yell........or scream, I just get nervous. I know you would never hurt me.........but when you raise your voice I get flash backs to......him."

She stays silent for a moment as if she's reliving something from the past.

"I just hate when we fight." She mumbles.

Now I feel like an even bigger piece of shit.

"I'm.......I'm sorry Tess."

"It's fine."

"No it's not." I say.

She lightly nods her head.

I take a breath.

"I don't want to go to Paris, and I don't want you to go either."

"Hardin you can't tell me what I can do......I want to go to Paris and I want the person who makes me the happiest to be there with me."

I look over at her and see a soft smile, I quickly look back at the ground.

"I don't want to move to Paris." I say again.

"Why? What is there in this city that is worth staying for?" She questions.

"It's the only place I've ever felt at home........with you here in this apartment, it's my home, our home. You're my home...........and you can't be my home if you live on the other side of the fucking planet." I say this as calmly as I can.

I feel her eyes on me.

"I'm your...........home?" She asks curiously.

"Of course you are, I can't do anything without you. I can't breathe or eat or sleep or............I can't do anything without you because I love you so fucking much it hurts. And if you leave me I...........I don't think I could make it."

I keep my eyes fixed to the ground, moments later I feel her place her hand on my shoulder and slide closer to me on the couch. I look up at her and see she's at a cross.

"I love you so much Hardin, and you're my home..........and I love our apartment and the tiny world we created for ourselves here but.......but I want more. I wanna travel and I wanna chance my dreams and make new friends.........and we could do all of that together, you and me. Please baby."

She knows how to get me.

"What about your mom and dad, Kim? Gavin? Mia? Even that fucker Brian? You're just gonna leave all of them?"

She takes her hand off my shoulder and sighs.

"We would visit and they could come see us, everyone has their own lives." She quickly adds.

"Well what about Sam? We are gonna leave her here with Kelly and Steve all alone?"

"Hardin...........I've seen Kelly with Sam and they actually seem happy, we can't just stop our lives for others. And we would fly Sam out to visit us and we could make this work."

"But I don't want to go to Paris, that's the part that you're not getting."

"Why?"

I stand up and she does too, we are face to face on inches apart.

"There's nothing for me in Paris, I won't have anything there."

"Me...........you would have me." She says.