Siren

Let her go

September 23rd 1:12 pm New York time

Humming along to one of his favorite songs Bucky pounded away at a heavy bag in the gym. He needed to get himself back into his daily routine so he could keep himself busy while he waited for Thor to get back. Also because as much as he hated that Steve and Dr Kent were right, he needed to do this for himself. Buck was terrified of what spiraling out of control could look like for him now. Bucky was just beginning to see what standing on his own looked like and he didn't have Juno to pull him back this time. That worried him but he knew he needed to rely on the people who were here when he needed help and not cut them off.

So here he was getting his body back into shape after neglecting his physical therapy for weeks. The stretch and burn of his muscles both felt good and hurt. After almost three weeks of doing nothing but moping, the left side of his chest and shoulder was throbbing. Maybe he would cut it short today. Ease himself back into this a bit more Buck thought to himself when his left hand doesn't land the punch the way he wanted. Steadying the bag to a stop Bucky hugged it for a second to rest his head against before standing up and taking the ear buds out of his ears.

"Done already, Buck?" He glanced over to his left to see Steve sitting up from the weight bench wiping at his sweaty face.

"Yeah. My shoulder is a bit tender. Don't want to push it too much, ya know." Wiping his own face and neck off with a towel Bucky leaned down to grab his water bottle. When he stood up to draw a pull of the cool water inside he saw Thor striding into the gym coming straight for him. Relieved he wouldn't have to wait any longer Buck started to smile at the Asgardian. But his smile died away at the thin envelope in his hand. And based on the dark look on his face Bucky didn't think he was bringing him good news. Lowering his water bottle to his side he stood still waiting for him to come over.

Unaware of the mission Bucky had sent him on, Steve greeted Thor with a wide smile as he stood up. "Heya Thor. How was your trip?"

"Captain." He says with a nod of hello ignoring the other man's question as he stalks through the maze of weight equipment and their fellow agents.

Steve's smile slips a little at Thor's reserved tone and serious expression. He looks over at Bucky in askance.

But he can't say a word with his stomach all tied up in knots. Standing there silently as Thor stops in front of him, clenching his jaw before speaking. Buck could tell he was thinking carefully of what to say because he's angry. But why he was angry was the question on his mind.

It takes all of a moment for the Asgardian to spell it out for him. "I know not what was in that letter because she did not tell me, but I have never seen Juno so broken as I did yesterday. If it wasn't for Tony coming to her side I do not know how she would have coped." Thrusting the envelope against his chest, Thor turned on his heel and left without another word spoken.

"What did he mean? What letter?" Steve had walked over when he'd seen the thunderous look on Thor's face worried that one friend would attack the other.

Looking down at the envelope in his hands Bucky reluctantly explained. "When I heard that he was going to London to check up on Jun I wrote her a letter."

Steve's brow furrowed as he shook his head in exasperation. They had talked about this several times in the weeks since she left. It had been agreed that he needed to give Juno time, that meant no calling, texting or writing letters. "Buck.."

Interrupting Steve he tried to explain in more detail. Begging him to understand that he couldn't live without his girl in his life. "I needed to tell Jun that I was stupid for shutting her out like I did and that I'm working on my issues. So that she knew that she didn't need to be so far away. Also maybe, when she was ready, we could take things slow. I was hoping that if she saw how much I was doing to get better she would come home. See that we are meant to be together and that things could go back to the way it was before I was an idiot." He was terrified to open this letter. Terrified to see in her own hand that she didn't want him and was telling him to never contact her again. He was just as terrified that she would say yes because the pressure he'd already set on his shoulders would only increase if he had a deadline.