𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆, vinnie hacker

018.

it's my fault, honestly. i never meant for it to go this far. and even though i know about kara and selene, who knows how this will impact us? i've stepped over the line of loyalty. god we are all so.. i can't think of the word, but we're a bunch of disloyal motherfuckers.

"i like vinnie, selene. maybe even more than like,"

"yeah, vinnie told me the same about you."

my heart beats like it's gonna leap out of my chest as i turn to face her.

i feel pathetic as i open and close my mouth, what more do i say?

"selene, i'm so sorry. there's no way to excuse anything i've done, i just want you to know that regardless, i love you and i'm so sorry for all of this stupid shit." selene doesn't stop my rambling but instead hugs me

she releases me and lets out a bitter laugh, "i'm sure you know i'm not the most loyal either,"

kara and her, right. "yeah i guess so, but i still crossed a line."

"in all honesty, faye, i knew you two had something going on."

"so what, you just ignored it?"

selene shrugged, "it wasn't my place to figure you guys' shit out for you, and i needed vinnie. i can't, couldn't, be with kara like that."

i feel the confusion on my face, "like what?"

"out. i'm not ready, or wasn't ready, i don't know. all i know is that i miss her so much and i want nothing more than to be able to be with her again and promise her that i'm ready, but i can't. and i'm scared that what i want isn't enough." this time it's my turn to hug her.

"i know, how hard it is selene. i don't get your situation, but your fear will never get you anywhere. you should take your time, i believe that. but where will being scared get you? you'll just continue pining after her when you already know what you really want."

another bitter laugh, "you should take your own advice."

[ 7:56 am ]

i have school in thirty-four minutes and i feel terrible.

i don't know if it's because i stayed up till three o clock talking through everything with selene, as well as some other topics.

but now, i contemplate if i actually want to go to school. i've gotten dressed and everything but i feel exhausted.

grabbing my backpack, i trail down the stairs and hear my mom laughing. unlike all the other times she's laughed like this, i hear a voice respond back.

a masculine voice.

it's not chris' cause when i told him mom had come back to stay home for a while, he went on a rant about how "of course she'd come back once i'm gone and when you're about to graduate" or something along those lines.

anyway, he didn't plan on coming back home until my graduation, but i'd doubt he'd actually wait that long.

inching closer and closer to the two voice i finally come in contact with my mom and some man.

i can already tell he's tall by how he's sitting at the table, his body is higher than my mom's so i know he has to be pushing six feet. he has deep brown eyes, only a few shades darker than his skin, he's also bald. it's interesting now that i look at him, he looks a lot like my dad from my small memories.

my mom looks almost alarmed that i caught them, "oh, i thought, uhm, i thought you'd be in school already."

suddenly i'm not exhausted, more so, curious.

"uhm, i'm running late. who's this?" i point to the strange man who looks just as alarmed as my mom

"well, this is my boyfriend, silas." she places her hand on his and i immediately feel sick

after years of neglect she thinks she's in a reasonable spot with herself, or even with her kids to have a relationship?

the man, silas, speaks before me "it's nice to finally meet you," 'finally' like he'd just been waiting forever, like my mom has just- "your mom has told me a lot about you."

huh, ironic. i nod and try to keep my bitterness to a minimum. "yeah, nice to meet you too."

and those are the last words i say before turning away, god i cant wait to graduate.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
omg another double update, i'm on a roll, really. but anyway, for the last chapter i'm thinking of a prom, graduation, or a flashforward? please lmk if there's anything you wanna see! anyway, please vote/interact thank you <3