Space Wizards

14: Mr. Grimble Grumble

The robot was two meters tall with wide shoulders that arched over a recessed oval face with three eyes. Thick tubular arms ended in clamplike hands and equally strong legs ended in magnetic stumps. The left eye opened like a porthole of a ship and out of it appeared a little bearded gnome; crumpled pointed hat and all. 

"I say, big fellow, I'm trying to repurpose this Makina's shell. Its positronic brain is far beyond repair." 

The gnome walked across the fallen robot and gestured toward a large hole blasted into the center of its head. 

"Its autonomous days are over. So, who might you be?" asked the gnome. "Clearly not the clone rescue team that claims to be on the way. May I join you on your ship? An Ursa Minor Gnome is worth a thousand times his weight in gold. Or so they say."

The little man looked at the three strangers, pulled a pipe from his fanny pack, and began to smoke it while waiting for a reply. Melock stepped forward beaming with joy. 

"I am Melock. I haven't seen a gnome in centuries. I'm what you might call a wizard. These are my traveling companions and bodyguards, Sister John Murphy of Abraxas and Øregård of the Jagged Sword Clan of Gastraddar, respectively."

"Mr. Grimble Grumble," said the gnome with a nod, a wink, and a smoke ring. 

The little man stood no more than three or four inches in Murphy's eyes including the hat. She wasn't one to instantly trust the sprites of the forest and she held her hammer at the ready just in case. 

"I mean you no harm, Sister Murphy, a woman of the cloth should be able to see as much," said Grimble.

"Sorry," said Øregård as he leaned over and stood the robot back upright.

The gnome ran up Øregård's arm in the process and sat upon his shoulder looking comfortable. 

"So, new friends, shall we load this robot chassis into your ship and get out of here before the clones arrive? They'll have so many questions," said Grimble. 

"No ship, Mr. Grimble Grumble," said Øregård.

"I'm afraid we transported here. We're actually looking for the 71EEB8," said Melock. 

"Is that so? Well then, we're all in for a lot of questions, maybe you even more than myself."  

"What happened here?" asked Melock. 

"The Ibi-Ero Makina decided to commandeer all the equipment we were hauling and kill the entire crew in the process. I'm lucky they didn't blast the ship to pieces. Even luckier, that they left behind a calling card."

"Who are the Makina?" asked Murphy tapping the iron man standing next to them.  

"They're a sentient robotic species, leaning on the ruthless side of conquest. It's unclear if they were once organic or if they mechanically evolved out of more primitive versions of themselves. One thing for sure is that they've been self-replicating, self-manufacturing if you will, for over an eon. You're looking at the corpse of the ultimate robot." 

"Fascinating. Like some kind of iron golem?" said Melock.

"Or a strange suit of armor," said Murphy. 

"You're both right. In fact, I'd like to use this former robot's exoskeleton as a vehicle. However, the clones will be here soon and I suggest we get our stories straight."

"Right," said Melock, "I'm told I should keep the teleportation to myself." 

"That goes without saying," said the gnome. 

"And Gastraddar has a complex relationship with them," added the big guy with a frown. 

"That's also true," said Mr. Grumble.

"And they don't like women, probably," said Sister Murphy. 

"They don't dislike women, they're just a unisex society. The 71s are actually one of the most open-minded species in the galaxy. But in our case, they might consider us to be an odd bunch. They don't believe in magic and they think Ursa Minor is an arms dealing society; we make robotic suits and vehicles primarily, best in the galaxy by the way. They'll want to know who you two humans are and they may not know of your world, considering I don't.  And it will be first on their minds to ask how we all survived an encounter with the Makina. While they might believe I hid, they won't believe a Gastraddar did. We are gonna need to come up with a solid explanation." 

"I find the truth to be the best option," said Melock, "even if it is a limited version." 

The tiny gnome saw Murphy grin in approval and looked over at the Gastraddar's smiling mug.

"You're an interesting lot," he said. "The truth is the Makina boarded this ship to steal technology that was beyond their knowledge. Or maybe it was to liberate our robots? Either way, I want to keep this Makina body and that's something the71s will not allow. I'm attempting to remove its transponder. Maybe with your help, we could dismantle it and take the parts with us. Do any of you have skills in robotics or engineering?"

"I know ship mechanics," said Øregård. 

"Great!" said Grimble. "Let's see if we can remove the plating and access the inner circuitry."