Ｉｃａｒu ｓ: ~Philza AU~

𝕬 𝕲𝖎𝖋𝖙

The most human thing she could ever do is bury him. She did not want to, but she was not brave enough to burn him. This seemed like the kinder alternative. 

When she looked upon the mortals in the land, she learned much about their large rituals. The grand, bright weddings, holidays where everyone was merry, days where everyone had gone silent, the weeping, the shouting, the fire, the snow, it had all been shows for her. She watched from afar, longing to join them below. The emotion they shared never seemed like a negative thing in her eyes. Her sadness, her creation of emotion had brought so much good, how could anything so powerful hurt?

Oh, but it burned her up. It tugged her down so deeply in the abyss that she was drowning. Now she knew why they cried. Why they shook their fits at the sky, cursing Fate. Cursing DreamExodus. Cursing her.

The sight of his unmoving body was beginning to send chilled beads of sweat down her neck. If she looked at him one more time, she was afraid it would feel too real. 

Wandering was not something she did often. When in her state of deity, she found comfort in the mountains and crows. They were the only family she had known since DreamExodus's threats. Now, meandering between the Narra trees, she could almost understand why so many humans chose to travel. The yellow flowers had all fallen by now, but the rosy aroma still lingered in the air. With every turn she made she became more lost. Her quest was successful in the end, however. 

Down a hill where the trees grew no more, sat a small grove. Allium and lilys of the valley swayed in the light breeze as she came down. The grass was soft underneath her as she sat, playing with the petals of the flowers. Bending and twisting the stems, her creation had come to fruition. Two, slightly ratchet flower crowns. 

The corners of her mouth turned downward, and she closed her eyes as tight as she could. Tear drops fell upon the plants as she whimpered. She did not want to bury him. She did not want to burn him. She did not want to let him sink down into the ocean. She just wanted him to rest.

Time passes quickly when wallowing in thoughts. The sun had begin to set, and a deeper exhaustion stabbed her. Both temples throbbed and her eyes were sore. It was everything she could do to stand. Once everything she wanted had been gathered, she began the dreaded trip back to his resting place.

Squeezing the bouquet in her arms, she whispered, "I have never felt such anger before."

"Your anger is different from most, I perceive."

For one second in time, everything stopped. She brought her eyes up to meet his, "Philza?"

He smiled, "Kristin."

"Philza?" she dropped the flowers as she rushed forward, "Philza!" throwing herself into his arms, she began to cry, but with every tear her smile grew, until she was beaming. "How in the name of Fate..?"

"What are you crying for? Is everything alright?" he held her face in his palms, looking over her anxoiusly.

"No, well yes, I mean, it is now," she sniffed between laughs.

His brows furrowed, "Did something happen?"

Her grin faded and she took a step back, "You do not remember?"

Shaking his head, he asked, "Remember what?"

"Philza," she breathed, "you were dead."