Life of Youth: Series 1

1.17 - Up On Melancholy Hills

At school he did his best to avoid everyone – especially CL; however, that proved to be impossible as they had the same lunch period.

"Hey," CL said to him outside the cafeteria.

"Hi," Riven muttered offering a small smile.

"I've missed you," CL told him as he kissed his cheek softly. When Riven didn't respond CL crossed his arms feeling insecure. "Riven have I done something to upset you?"

"No."

Silence.

"What's wrong?" CL asked him gently, "Something is bothering you ... I know there is."

"Look, I don't want to talk about it," Riven said to him coldly. He quickly softened his tone when he saw the hurt in CL's eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Riven are you tired of me?"

"What? No, don't be ridiculous."

"Then what is it?" CL asked him, becoming more upset. "I call and call and you never answer or return my calls. I've left messages with your mother and you ignore them. Even right now, I can tell you just want to be left alone."

"I do," Riven answered quietly, not looking at CL.

"Why, though?"

Riven took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He really wasn't in the mood to talk about what he was feeling but not doing so would only upset CL more. He took out his sunglasses and put them on.

"Let's go outside, I need some air."

CL nodded and followed Riven outside to the courtyard where they sat under a large tree.

"So what is it?" CL asked him, sitting so close to him their shoulders were pressed up against each other. There was another long moment of silence before Riven mustered up the energy to speak.

"I've been very depressed lately," Riven finally told him and looked away to not see CL's face.

"Oh Riven," CL said softly and held his hand. "Is it because something's bothering you?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, CL."

CL stared at Riven, wishing he would just open up. Trying to stifle the frustration quickly building up inside him, CL cuddled up against him and laid his head on Riven's shoulder.

"Ok. I wish you wouldn't push me away, though."

Riven shrugged.

"Don't you trust me?"

More silence.

CL sat up and looked at him. Riven shifted his eyes to see CL was hurt but kept his head angled in a way that it seemed like he wasn't looking at him.

"Wow ..." CL shook his head. "After everything we've been through?"

"What do you want me to say?" Riven muttered, "I'm just tired."

He really didn't want to talk. He wished they could just sit there in silence. Why couldn't that be enough for CL?

"I trust you completely and don't have a problem coming to you if I ever need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to be there for me, why can't you do the same with me? You really don't trust me that much?"

"It's not like that, shut up," Riven groaned. "Can't you just be here for me? Do we have to talk about every goddamn thing? Stop being such a girl."

CL only stared at him. Riven could see tears glistening in CL's eyes but before they could break and start running down his cheeks, CL stood and simply walked away. Riven thought about going after him but he just didn't have the energy to deal with anybody.