YOU HATED ME BEFORE YOU KNEW ME

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"I want a divorce!" New exclaimed, fists shaking. "I want a fucking divorce. I fucking want you out of my life!"

Tay's heart stopped for a moment. He was stunned mute. There was the white noise again. It blocked out everything. New's lips were moving. He was furious. His hands moved around. The veins in his neck were taut. Uncontrollable tears crept down his face.

Tay was on a green field. Lilacs and irises bloomed around his feet. By his side was a man. Bright eyes and soft smiles. He was just as entrancing as the flowers. If not more. A Ferris wheel whirled to their left. Tay took this beautiful man's hand. Warm. Soft. Loved. He climbed onto the machine with his beloved. Buckled them in. Their lips smiled. Their fingers locked. Tay's head spun.

The higher they went, the smaller the man smiled. At the peak, he let go of Tay's hands. His eyes bled as he let himself fall back.

The unsettling sound of crashing bones tethered Tay to reality. The man was okay. He was fine. His eyes were not bleeding. But they might as well be. Tears spilled from them. His voice was incoherent.

"Okay," Tay heard himself say. He did not want a divorce. He was losing Kao. No! He was losing New. His husband. His beloved. New was leaving him. "It is for the best," he said.

Locked behind heavily secured doors was another part of him. He cried. Banged on the steel doors. Jiggled the locks. He was begging to be let out. To be freed to fight for New.

Tay kept him locked up.

It was for the best. They were bad for each other. They had done nothing but hurt each other since they met. The issues they had were chronic. They could try and control them. Sweep them under the rag. However, they would not be restrained forever. They were bound to spill over. It was better to end it now before it maturated.

New appeared more settled. He bit his upper lip with a nod. Then he backed off to perch on the table by the window. "That night," he started. "Was the best night of my life. I could not apologize for being happy. I did not think I should.

"Looking back, it was not as great as I thought." Tay felt his heart breaking even more. "That night has become somewhat of a curse than a blessing. If it had not happened, there would be no version of you in my head who loved me. You looked at me like I was the best thing you had ever encountered.

"I was riding on that feeling, you know. I had hoped that one day, you would look at me like that again. But that look was not for me. It was never meant for me."

He sniffed. Dabbed at his eyes. He cleared his throat. And when he spoke again, his tone was even. "Our parents will never consent to a divorce. They will hear of it once we inform our lawyers and will do everything in their power to prevent it." He threw one leg over the other like he was in the front row of a fashion show. "I have a lawyer friend. I can have her discreetly draft our divorce papers within two weeks."

Tay nodded. "Okay." Only because he felt he should say something.

"We need to keep this quiet until it is finalized." Chin up. Back ramrod straight. He was discussing the end of their marriage like he was reading out the grocery list. "And if a divorce proves too difficult, we can have our marriage annulled on grounds that we never consummated our union. It being an arranged marriage could also work in our favor."

"Okay," Tay echoed. He wished he could say something else. He was not given a divorce for dummies pamphlet for a day like this.

"I know you cannot stand me," New stated like it was the gospel truth. That would have been accurate a month ago. But he could not be more wrong now. "But until our divorce is final, we have to put up with each other like we have been doing. For ourselves and the business."

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