We the Weirdos

Chapter Thirty

"Are you done now?" I asked grumpily, watching Lysander grabbing every bag of Cheeze-its in the whole entire grocery store.

"Nope," He said, "Not quite yet."

"We've been here for an hour already," I complained, "It's enough."

"You're not the only one that's eating!" He snapped. "Sorry, that was rude. I want some too."

Okay then.

"You know there's a way to carry all of them, right?" I asked.

He froze. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's called taking two trips." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, then no. I want to take only one trip." He continued struggling.

"There ARE other ways..." I suggested.

"Uh-huh, telling me now would be pretty nice," he said, trying to gesture to himself, but dropped a box of Cheeze-its. "Such as...?"

"Such as getting a cart?" I offered.

"No," he said grumpily. "Not what I meant. Like carrying it ON you."

"Why are you so freaking obsessed with you carrying it on yourself?" I asked incredulously, "You're ridiculous."

"What? Have a problem with it? I missed my workout today, mind you because I had to run to the grocery store to buy Cheeze-it's for SOMEONE." He argued.

"Yeah, and SOMEONE bought me to an interrogation room and didn't let me out until I admitted SOMETHING to SOMEONE!" I yelled in his face.

"Oh, right!" He exclaimed. "I remember now."

Not even a 'sorry?' Rude, I say, RUDE!

"Back to another helpful idea," I said, "You could carry a basket."

"It won't fit," He said, gesturing to the twenty boxes in his arms.
Okay, he is officially the stupidest person I've EVER met. And believe me, I've met plenty of stupid people before.

"There's more than one basket in this store," I reminded him.

"Oh. Right. I knew that."

Yeah. Sure. Whatever helps him sleep at night.

"So go get the baskets, dummy!" I reminded him.

"Knew that too!" He called behind his shoulder. I stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to come back.

When he got back, I was already ready to go. Actually, scratch that, I was ready to go a LOOOOOOONG time ago.

"Wait," He pointed.

"What? " I groaned, "If you need to get more Cheeze-its, there aren't anymore because you've already emptied the store of them."

"Y- oh, I did? I didn't know that. Well, we can check out now." He smiled.

About time. "We should have done that a long time ago," I sighed, looking at the twenty baskets he was carrying, "Need any help?" I offered.

"I'm strong," He argued, and at that specific moment, he dropped two baskets. "Usually." He added.

While sighing again, I helped him pick up the baskets. "NEED ANY HELP?" I asked, purposely saying it loudly indicating that saying no was not an answer.

"SURE, JULIA, SURE!" He replied loudly, indicating that he understood and wanted his beat-up later. No problem at all! Rescheduling is no biggie.

After we finished checking out, we were carrying the boxes of Cheeze-its in plastic bags (save them turtles!). Correction: Lysander was carrying the boxes of Cheeze-its in plastic bags. There, that looks better.