We the Weirdos

Chapter Fifteen

"There are stages of zodiac signs? I never knew that. Mom, whether you are in room 109 or 209 at the hospital, just know that your wonderful son is thinking about you. Anyways..." he trailed off for a few seconds, then continued.

"Well, technically, my mom's a Scorpio, but she kind of reads of Sagittarius because she's really good with conversations and scolding people. I'm a Cancer, Mr. Robins." Lysander said.

Did he actually thinking we were conversing about zodiac signs? Apparently so.

"Ryan, this is not a joke." My dad said seriously. But he actually looked like he was going to burst out laughing at any moment.

Lysander sighed. "Stage four? How many hundred stages are again? She's like, gonna live, right?"

Now it was my turn to sigh. "There are only four stages."

"WELL WHY DIDN'T NO ONE TELL ME?" He asked.

"Well, you never asked." My dad said, "And didn't I just tell you that your mom was at stage four?"

"If you didn't know, erm, Ryan, stage four is, like, the stage where you're about to.." I cough, "fly up to heaven." Yeah, yeah. That's what it is.

Lysander gasped. "Is it for free?"

Bruh. Seriously?

My dad coughed, like he was trying to teach a little kid something without lying or scaring them. Yes, Lysander is literally a kid.

"Getting cancer or, uh, flying up to, uh, heaven?" I asked for my dad. Yeah, dad, you can thank me by a Cheeze-it company. What? I need a way to bribe Lysander the moronic monkey. I'm finally improving my nicknames. Yay me.

"W-w-well, both are free, Ryan." My dad stammered. "Me and Julia need... a moment."

"So you're just going to casually stroll in, tell me my mom has cn

Before my dad dragged me out of the room, I called, "Hey, L-Ryan, flying up to heaven also means dying."

My dad dragged me out into the hallway. "Not helping, Julia, not helping."

I heard a chuckle from the room.

"I swear, the guy has super hearing!" My dad said.

"Why thank you, maybe I do!" Lysander called from the room.

He's haunting me. Scarier than any ghost, ready to scare me at any mo-

Yeah, I think I'm scaring myself more than Lysander is. I'm not helping myself much.

My dad dragged me all the way to the kitchen. "Maybe he won't be able to hear us here."

"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Lysander called from the room. It was like, ten feet away.

"You know what? Let's go into the basement."

No more 'I can hear you's were said.

"What? The basement? No no no no-"

"He won't be able to hear us down there!

"Hehe... dad, my room is right on top of the basement." I told him.

He stopped walking. "You're right. We can talk in the garage."

I don't think he's aware of the fact we're talking right now.

"Well, the garage is next door to my room." I argued.

"Oh! I forgot. I seem to be forgetting a lot these days..." My dad muttered.