Beneath Their Scars

Chapter 24

"I don't care about any of that, I just want to be with you." I say weakly and he pulls me into his chest, holding me tightly.

What feels like an eternity goes by in pure silence as we stay in the same position. Then he speaks.

"I made a promise... to my mother." He starts and I lift my head from it's placement on his chest in order to look at him as he speaks. "She told me that if I ever fell in love, I need to leave all of this behind." He explains. "So I need to let you go until I can figure out how to do that." He adds and my heart fills with hope.

"So this isn't it? You're not leaving me for good?" I ask timidly. I know it sounds sort pitiful for me to nearly beg him not to leave but, I just can't imagine losing what we I've just gotten.

"No, love." He responds, holding me tighter. "I just don't know how long it's going to take for me to find a way to leave." He explains. "And as much as it fucking hurts, I can't ask you to wait for me indefinitely." He finishes and I immediately shake my head.

"I don't care Roman. If it takes a month, a year, or ten years. I'm waiting for you." I tell him firmly. And he's quiet for a second then, he speaks.

"I know that I'll never find anyone like you Sage. You're it for me." He begins. "But, I need you to promise me that if you fall in love again, you won't lose it because of me." He says and my heart sinks that those words.

"I'm not falling in love again. I believe in us Roman." I try to say firmly but the sadness is evident in my voice.

"Just promise me Sage." He says lowly and I nod.

"I promise." I respond and he kisses my head. A silence falls over us again and I decide to ask a question that he still may not be ready for but, it's worth a shot.

"What happened to your mother?" I ask quietly and he doesn't respond for a moment. "If you don't want to talk about it, I get it. I just-"

"She was the best mother anyone could've asked for." He states, cutting me off. "She made the best food and gave the best hugs and did everything a mother was supposed to do better." He starts.

I rub his back to comfort him, urging him to go on. And he does.

"She brightened every room she ever entered. Kind of like you do." He stated. "She was my biggest role model. She always taught me that even though we live such a dangerous life, I should always spread love just like she did." He tells me and when I look back into his eyes it's like he's back in those times. He's spaced out, reliving his memories with his mom.

"My father was a terrible man who didn't care about anyone or anything besides her." He says. "She was the light of his life. The only person who could ever make him smile. He was almost like a real father when she was alive but once she died, every good part of him did as well." He says.

I continue to hold on to him as a way of comforting him and he holds me just as closely.

"How old were you when you she passed?" I asked.

"Twelve. It was only a day before my thirteenth birthday." He responds and my heart breaks for him. And I hug him.

"You don't have to continue. It's okay." I say assuringly and he shakes his head.